Trans Man Speaks Out After Alleged Transphobic Incident In Bathroom At Melb Restaurant

A diner at Melbourne’s Soho restaurant is calling for increased bathroom accessibility for trans and gender diverse people, after experiencing an alleged incident of transphobia at the venue last weekend.

Proud Gunai Kurnai man Zee Pepper told Star Observer he had happily been sharing a meal with his mother and step-sister before the trio went to see a play later in the evening.

While their mum went to pay, Pepper and his sister went to find the bathroom, with the former deciding to use the unisex bathroom instead of using the men’s bathroom, due to having some unsafe experiences in single-gender bathrooms in the past.

Pepper says that while this was an ambulant bathroom, which are used by people with disability, the toilet was not marked as such, and was simply marked ‘Unisex’.

‘I politely said I was trans… He responded by laughing in my face’

As he went to enter, he says he was was stopped by a person claiming to be the manager of the Soho.

“He was very overpowering and was demanding that I use the male toilets,” said Pepper. “I quietly and politely said to him that I am trans and that I don’t feel safe to use the male toilets at this time, and that I do have a right to use the unisex ambulant toilet. He responded by laughing in my face, saying he doesn’t care, and pointing and demanding I use the males.”

“At that point I became visibly upset and angry. I asked him, ‘are you mocking me for being trans?’ We went back and forth — him stating I need to use the males, me saying I felt unsafe and have a right to this toilet.

Pepper alleges that the staff member then barricaded the door to the toilet with a pair of posts, before saying “there, now you can’t use it at all”, and walking away.

“The demeanour and tone used was extremely arrogant and it was blatantly obvious that he did not care,” Pepper said.

“As we were walking out, I was quite upset and tried speaking to his staff telling them what happened and how it was discrimination.

“I felt fearful of the manager – he was very overpowering and demeaning. I am extremely disappointed with his actions and lack of support from other venue staff, and I felt demoralised as a person.”

Community rallies around Zee Pepper after transphobic incident

The next day, Pepper took to Instagram to share his experience, and call out the restaurant for their staff member’s transphobia.

“I’m not normally someone who tends to make a fuss over things nor call out behaviour often, but this particular incident was disgusting on so many levels and was clearly discriminatory, so I felt I had to share it with the wider community,” he said.

“I was very surprised and overwhelmed by how viral the post went, but deeply appreciate all the support I received. It has been validating to know that my experience was as harmful as it felt.”

 

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The post attracted almost 500 comments, with people offering advice, support, and similar stories of their own.

“Have reported, blocked and left a bad review to them,” one user wrote. “What shameful behaviour from a business owner, truely [sic] embarrassing. I’m so sorry you had to experience this type of treatment.”

Another wrote: “Cripple here. I would much prefer my trans friends (and friends I haven’t met just yet) use the accessible bathroom and remain safe. I’m sorry you had to go through this. As another group that often is discriminated against, most of us know that rights aren’t pie.”

Following the popularity of the post, Soho turned their Instagram comments off to prevent people from drawing attention to the incident, although several users left one-star Google reviews condemning the staff member’s behaviour.

According to Pepper, Soho eventually reached out through Instagram and asked if he would share his phone number for a staff member to reach out to him, but he declined at the time, telling Star Observer that he just wasn’t in the right headspace for the conversation.

Pepper says the restaurant didn’t discuss any consequences for the manager, and replied with a “pretty textbook response” about the venue being an inclusive space, before offering to make a donation to his charity of choice.

Soho then shared an Instagram story apologising for the incident and claiming they were committed to being a safe space, although the venue failed to specify how this would be achieved.

A ‘shocking way to start Pride Month’

Pepper said it was a “shocking way to start Pride month”.

“The world is not a very kind place at the moment, especially for a Trans Aboriginal man straddling these two marginalised identities,” he said.

“Now, more than ever, it’s important for venues to start making toilets accessible for Trans and Gender Diverse people. I don’t want to be taking up the space of a person with accessibility needs, but I also want to feel safe using a toilet at a venue or public place.”

An increase in hostility toward trans people here and overseas

Pepper’s experience is just one of the increasingly common incidents of transphobia experienced by trans and gender diverse communities today.

Although examples may be more obvious overseas, there is no doubt that these attitudes are affecting Australians, reflected in the banning of hormone treatments for trans children in Queensland, and the normalisation of blatant transphobia from our politicians.

Pepper said that now more than ever, it was important for genuine allies to stand up and speak out for trans people.

“We are human beings trying to live our lives as our authentic selves in peace,” he said. “We are a vulnerable and marginalised community as it is, and the rise in trans hate and incidents like these and assaults are extremely harmful. People’s lives are genuinely at risk, and many have been lost at the hands of trans hate.”

Soho Melbourne were contacted for a comment on this story, but did not reply by time of publication.