Dear Karen: Help me in the bedroom!

Dear Karen: Help me in the bedroom!

Ed note: Got troubles? Life, love or office etiquette getting you down? Write Karen from Finance for advice: [email protected].

Dear Karen,

I have been spanking it a lot lately during isolation in the absence of my beautiful partner Trish. I’m worried that I’ll develop a callus or an absits and won’t be able to do it anymore. How many wanks are too many wanks, Karen?

It sounds like isolation is really getting to you, and you are going in hard!! Have you thought of getting an alternate hobby, like logging on to Ancestry.com or getting into Mah-jong solitaire? Probably not. Jack, you sound like you’ve travelled a little too far down the rabbit warren and that there’s no going back, or stopping you for that matter!

If a callus or an absits does form, your local chemist or pharmacy should be able to help. The girls in the office sometimes call me a walking pharmacy, as I’ve always got something in my handbag that can fix anything. In this case, I would suggest trying Wart-off or corn pads. They work really well at breaking down skin cells around problem areas. I’ve never tried using them on the genital areas, but if it works the same way it does on my feet then you should be able to pick off the growth and be back to spanking in no time!

Dear Karen,

I’ve been a top for a good ten years now, purely because of the effort it takes to be a bottom. The diet, the preparation… who has time?! However, from time to time I do miss the feeling of being completely taken over by a top who just takes what he wants. Any tips for a wannabe bottom to make the prep work as reliable and easy as possible?

Look I’m a pure lady of the spread sheets and am quite sure that I have absolutely no idea what it means to be ‘taken over’ by a top… but if I let my mind venture away from the cell charts and formulas for just a moment and ponder my way into your world of back arching and cautious eating, I would. recommend a juice cleanse. I should imagine that a simple diet of lemon juice and filtered water ONLY would completely strike out any need for a pre-game hose out. A few days on the juice cleanse and you’ll have nothing left to clear! Alternatively, you could just find a partner that’s ‘into that sort of thing’. That would alleviate any due ‘preparation’ and truly allow you to continue a life where you can do and eat whatever you want!

 

Last Week: Dear Karen: Isolation Dilemmas – To Workout Or Not? MAFS Or Tiger King?

 

Got troubles? Life, love or office etiquette getting you down? Write Karen from Finance for advice: [email protected]. Visit her website at karenfromfinance.com

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