Is your negative self-talk doing your head in?
Just how is your self-talk going? When you think about your life do you think negatively or positively? Do you worry about what others might be saying about you? Do you consider your family upbringing as not being the best and has this made you not the confident person you always wanted to be? Do you have a negative body image?
All self-talk matters affect the way you feel about yourself and your daily happiness. Can we do anything about this? The answer is yes, sir ee! There is no point in dismissing negative childhood experiences, stating them and acknowledging them is all part of the process to stop them doing harm today and right now. I love this old Indian saying – No family can put up a sign saying, “There is nothing to be bothered about in this house.” The truth is the majority of us come from dysfunctional families. There is no Brady Bunch. Opps showing my age!
I also heard a radio interview with an elderly woman the other day outlining 8 tips for a happy life. One of these was a gem, “What other people think about you in none of your business.” Isn’t that a relief? Not spending time worrying about what others think means we can just be ourselves accepting everything about ourselves. Good and bad.
Self-talk that leads to low self-esteem can be corrected. The brain has created a highway where all that negative thinking rides up and down. It is time to put up a detour sign. Start writing down somewhere, maybe notes around the house or better still a diary, positive things about yourself. The more you do this the more the detour sign stays up and another highway is created in your brain called the, “I love Myself Highway”. We all fail to love ourselves enough.
If you do have a negative body image, write down where all that comes from. Write as many stories about that topic as possible. Who are you competing with? What would you like to change? What genetic considerations do you have to accept? How much should I be worrying about it? What things can I change if I wanted to?
Learning to love your self more is what we all need. Getting rid of negative self-talk is something you can achieve. It just takes practice.
Gerry North is a gay couples counsellor and can be contacted at gerrynorthcounsellor@gmail.com or www.gaycounselling.vpweb.com.au
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