Image: The L Word: Generation Q
By Aliyah Moore
In 2021, 3.3% of adults in the US (aged 18 and up) identified as gay or lesbian by their own self-identified sexual abilities.
But while there is a growing LGBTQIA+ community who comes out of the closet, there is still a lack of information and many misconceptions and confusion about sex. Particularly lesbian sex.
So let’s set the record straight (even though you don’t have to be).
What Is Lesbian Sex?
People often refer to “lesbian sex” as sex between two women.
In reality, it’s a spectrum (and varied gay subcultures). The individuals involved may not be lesbians or cisgender couples and may have vaginas, penises, and intersex genitalia.
For this article, we’ll define lesbian sex as sexual activity between individuals who self-identify as women, whether they’re homosexual (or not), cis, or trans.
Debunking Myths About Lesbian Sex
Someone has to be “the man” in the scenario
Sex isn’t ONLY P-in-V. And penetration doesn’t make one the “man.”
Of course, some couples may have a dynamic where one does the penetration while the other is on the receiving end. But you don’t need to take on a gender role during sex or the relationship.
It’s easier because you’re both women
Even though you’re both women, you may not have the same genitalia. For example, one is a trans woman with a penis while the other partner is a cis woman with a vagina.
And even if you both have the same genitalia, what one person likes could be different from another. So knowing each other’s preferences is just as important as any relationship. And you may even try a threesome for extra fun.
You have to scissor
So… scissoring is when two partners with vulvas rub their genitals against each other for pleasure and stimulation. Some people enjoy this, but it’s not the only way for lesbians to have sex. In fact, not all lesbian couples may do this.
Plus, partners of any gender can technically scissor.
How To Do Lesbian Sex
If your partner has a vagina
With a vagina or none, using sex toys elevate sex. You can consider getting lesbian sex toys like dildos, vibrators, and strap-ons for you and your partner. Don’t forget to give special attention to the clitoris and G-spot if your partner loves it!
Fun with boobs
The boobs and nips are erogenous zones. They’re super sensitive that some people even climax from it. Yey to nip-gasms! You can get creative in breast and nipple play by enhancing sensations such as using ice blocks or tingling lubes.
Fingering, fisting, and other sex
If penetration is something you want in the menu, you can always incorporate it in various ways. For vaginal, that could mean P-in-V, fingering, fisting, and inserting a dildo or vibrator. You can also branch out to other sex toys and body parts (like anal sex).
Pleasure seekers have their way of defining what sex is, including queer sex. Everyone loves different things—scissoring, oral, strap-on, and so on. And exploring those is just part of the fun of it.
Aliyah Moore is a writer on topics surrounding LGBTQI, a resident sex expert in SexualAlpha, and a coach for queer people of color to help them embrace their sexuality.
