Does this phone make my bum look big?
My iPhone is making me fat. There, I’ve said it! I refuse to believe it’s the KFC, or the evil white carbs that somehow keep creeping back into my life and weakening my commitment to my new year’s fitness resolution. No, it’s my phone, without a doubt.
Studies have shown that smartphones are making us lethargic and less interactive. Apparently, portable tech-heads are more likely to use social networks, to seek advice online, and are much more likely to be overweight and gratuitous.
That’s right; your phone is turning you into a fat, greedy, simpleton.
Since I booted-up my new gadget, I’ve whiled away huge slices of my life. I toss virtual paper in a virtual bin, fondle my Angry little Birds, and glean hours of amusement distorting my face and voice. And Grindr’s always a hoot, right? I never hook-up with anyone; which officially makes me one of those ‘time waster’ people. I’m too fat and happy to be looking for a GPS shag anyway.
As if I wasn’t online enough, I can now be on Facebook on-the-go, with podcasts simultaneously rocking my multimedic world. And of course, I do all of this while flicking through SSO online – www.starobserver.com.au.
I probably look like an idiot. But I’m a happy idiot.
The problem is I’m getting fat. And now that Maccas has stopped blocking Wi-Fi for gay sites, I can work on my widening frame while stuffing my face with hash browns and McNuggets. How will I use my touch-screen, I wonder? I don’t want to have to paw at the screen with fat fists. I haven’t yet downloaded a fitness app; and FatBooth’s sister app, SkinnyBooth, isn’t nearly as much fun.
But are we losing our grip on reality? Is technology dumbing us down?
Social media is connecting victims of the Queensland floods, providing support networks and donation pages – so it can’t be all bad. But I’m not kidding when I say my phone makes me happy. My iPhone has turned me into a happy fatty.
Note to self: step away from the burger and download those fitness apps.
Cheers for the comments – always welcome and appreciated.
Keep ’em coming!
xxd
I tend to disagree William……. GenY have become an easy mark. I feel the technology you are describing above helps society in being more productive,, when used correctly…… BlackBerry forever !
The sad truth is that technology is turning us into morons. We have no need for grammar or spelling with predictive text or auto correct and no need for knowledge with the internet. I actually pity younger generations such as genY and younger.
Good article.
ahahahahA ! Too funny !