Dosed to the eyeballs

With the sun beaming through the windows, spring soaks my house every chance it gets. We are outside in the beautiful weather, soaking it up, forgetting winter as it fades from our memories… Well, some of us anyway.
A select few can’t enjoy the spring weather yet. Hay fever season walks hand-in-hand with spring. Small pollen balls that are the first sign of spring explode their precious seed everywhere, spilling on and in everything that is close.
This year it has hit us a little harder than usual, I’m not the only one who has suffered over the last couple of weeks. You can pick hay fever sufferers straight away. Eyes glazed over, that itchy sore red colour, tearing up at the drop of a hat. A nose that transforms from a blocked device to a fully operational tap that has been left turned on. A true hay fever sufferer can sneeze 100 times a minute, convulsing dangerously as they grope their pockets for a ball of tissue.
A wall of medication at the chemist makes the sufferer feel like an amateur scientist: “This one was good, but when I had it with the nasal spray it stopped the itchy eyes but I still sneezed like a crazy person.”
I staggered to my local chemist two days ago. I felt like scratching my eyes out as they were so itchy and watery. My nose was running so badly I felt like rolling up tissue and ramming it up my nostrils, and I had just completed a sneezing fit.
Pulling myself together, I asked for a recommendation, trying to hold back the drip that seemed to have a life of its own. “What symptoms do you have?” I was asked. The saleswoman quickly realised what she’d said and came back with an armful of suggestions.
So as you skip along in the sunshine, gather flowers or mow your lawn, think of those of us cowering in a watery mess in the corner or floating along, dosed to the eyeballs. You can’t miss me, I’m the drag queen with watery bloodshot eyes, makeup-less from the bridge of my nose to the top of my lip and my ample bosom is stuffed with a wad of tissues.