Would you be more jealous of your partner having illicit or open sexual affairs with others or having amazing, stimulating connections without taking their clothes off and coming home to you bored and horny?

I can’t recall what triggered me to think about this, but I did and I was curious about the psyche of partnerships.

Why does a proportion of our community allow sex outside of their relationship? Is it to keep the intellectual and interesting features of their partner’s mind and soul with them alone? It can’t be that they don’t care that their partner is being ravished by another. Or can it?

Let me create a scenario. I’m male, so it’s going to be for the boys.

Your boyfriend has a work colleague. They get on really well. They laugh at the same things, they finish each other’s sentences. They talk for hours about similar stances on politics, love, and art, and healthily debate their positions on war, religion, and fashion.

Your guy comes home, tired, little to talk about, but you have hot sex. This repeats for as long as you can imagine.

Versus this: your boyfriend chats to you at work, calls you in his lunch break and sits on the sofa after cooking dinner, talking about his family and his thoughts on the news. You guys have sex maybe once a week, if that.

He heads out, like you do, to a bar or to a fuck buddy’s place where you both spend a few separate hours every couple of days.

Which side of the pea is greener?

Or is it that some of you have relationships favoured in both mind and flesh? You are indeed very lucky. Or is it a hard slog, but you make it work anyway?

I used to be all or nothing, then I moved to the middle. Nowadays, I’m so unsure of where I sit. It’s a curious question and an interesting answer.

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