Speaking out – Biphobia exists and it hurts

Speaking out – Biphobia exists and it hurts

As members of groups that support and advocate for bisexual people, we hear about prejudice not just from heterosexual but also homosexual communities (especially at ‘queer-friendly’ events and venues).

Enough is enough. That we are discriminated against in the homosexual and lesbian communities (groups who are subject to prejudice) feels more offensive than being discriminated against by mainstream society.

The distress of one of our members arising from biphobic prejudice while participating in this year’s Pride March, a supposedly queer-safe event, requires us to be more active in speaking up. Initial approaches to Pride March to improve matters have been met positively.

We want to raise awareness of the impact of attitudes reflected in taunts such as greedy, in transition, make a decision, traitors to the gay/lesbian cause, infidelitous — all of which reinforce the sense of non-acceptance.

Biphobia, discrimination and abuse directed towards bisexuals, often goes unacknowledged in discussions about discrimination in queer communities. Going on research findings of the deleterious impacts of biphobia, however, this requires urgent attention.

Bisexuals are more likely than lesbians or gay men to not be out to family and friends; experience covert and overt discrimination in both ‘straight’ and queer venues (including being asked to leave queer venues); suffer from mental illnesses such as depression or anxiety; be at risk for suicide; engage in behaviours that place their physical health at risk e.g. substance usage, being overweight; practise unsafe sex.

Bisexuals are no more likely to engage in multiple relationships than people who are gay, lesbian or heterosexual.

Imagine, or recall, what it is like to be subject to discrimination and misunderstanding because of your sexual identity.

The VGLRL believes strengthening bi (and trans and intersex) people strengthens us all.

It is time bisexuality is recognised as a legitimate sexual identity. We call on readers to join us in raising awareness about the impacts of biphobia and to stop these prejudices wherever they are seen.

info: Kathryn Wilson is with Bisexual
Alliance Victoria. Sally Goldner is with
the VGLRL and Bisexual Alliance Victoria.
Visit www.bi-alliance.org


Browne K, Lim J (2008). Count me in too: LGBT lives in Brighton & Hove – Additional findings, bi people. University of Brighton & Spectrum: United Kingdom. http://www.spectrum-lgbt.org/cmiToo/downloads/CMIT_Bi_Report_Dec08.pdf
Conron KJ, Mimiaga MJ, Landers SJ (2010). A population-based study of sexual orientation identity and gender differences in adult health, American Journal of Public Health, 100(10), 1953-1960. http://ajph.aphapublications.org/cgi/content/short/100/10/1953
Cooney E (2010). Survey: Bisexual women in poorest health. White coat notes, 10 June. http://www.boston.com/news/health/blog/2010/06/_gays_lesbians.html
LGBT Advisory Committee: San Francisco Human Rights Commission (2011). Bisexual invisibility: impacts and recommendations. The author: San Francisco. http://www.birequest.org/docstore/2011-SF_HRC-Bi_Iinvisibility_Report.pdf
Moon MW, Fornili K, O’Briant AL (2007). Risk comparison among youth who report sex with same-sex versus both-sex partners, Youth & Society, 38(3), 267-284. http://yas.sagepub.com/content/38/3/267.abstract
Weitzman, G. (2006). Therapy with clients who are bisexual and polyamorous, Journal of Bisexuality, 6, 137-264. http://www.informaworld.com/smpp/content~db=all~content=a902686849~frm=abslink

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43 responses to “Speaking out – Biphobia exists and it hurts”

  1. @Chris “Why is it all those individuals that i have known to have claimed themselves as bisexuals years ago now see themselves as either gay or lesbian!!”

    Quite an interesting comment. Surely one cannot pass up the notion that perhaps the people who you state are bisexual and then become in your words “gay or lesbian” are being forced to due to oppression and discrimination? Perhaps the lack of support from their family, or friends such as yourself?

    How can one feel comfortable speaking with you about their sexual orientation, especially if they classify themselves as being bisexual, if you don’t accept who they are? Your personal beliefs about bisexuals wouldn’t have anything to do with the fact they are now batting for one side only, would it?

    And really, do they tell you the truth about their sexual orientation? Or do they tell you what they feel you want to hear so they don’t have to hear the beating of your disapproval in their ears?

    To make myself clear, your comment hides a statement that rings true – biphobia does exist and perhaps your gay and lesbian friends are the perfect examples of what discrimination and intolerance can do in a world of cruel nonacceptance.

  2. So let me get this straight. The main arguments against biphobia being a Real Thing are:

    1. Waah! I’m sick of people going on and on about the discrimination they’re facing because I don’t want to deal with it.

    2. I have bi friends and I’m not biphobic, which must automatically mean that nobody else in the L and G community is biphobic. So there.

    3. I’ve never seen anyone be biphobic, so biphobia must not exist./My experience is more valid than your experience of stuff you have had to deal with.

    4. Bisexuals taking issue with biphobic comments in relation to an article about biphobia is CLEARLY a conspiracy. I mean, what else could it possibly be?

    5. Only gay people care about marriage equality (hello?) so clearly bisexuals should just shut up already and stop stealing our thunder.

    6. Gay people don’t treat bisexuals as badly as the entrenched heteronormative system treats gay people (and ONLY gay people, apparently), so biphobia doesn’t exist.


  3. No Rebecca, how about we don’t accept one side of the argument but instead accept that there are not only two sides to a story but in fact several sides?

    People here are referring in part to events I wasn’t party to and I am only hearing one side of the issue. I work in a job where I deal with allegations of discrimination and try to find a resolution to the problem. Often I find the other side of the story completely at odds with the first set of allegations. The truth may be somewhere in between.

    When it comes to allegations of oppression I like to see hard data and clear facts. That is why I ask about any laws gays have put in place to disadvantage bisexuals or any systematic discrimination on the part of gays towards bisexuals and any anti-bisexual violence committed by gays against bisexuals. If that is happening then gays have a lot to answer for.

    By the way, if you want to see real nastiness check out my comments about Fred Nile and Wendy Francis. And I am not about to apologise for them. It may be ideal to be nice to each other but this ain’t an ideal world so religious fundamentalists will have to cop my “discrimination” against them.

  4. @David Skidmore
    “There seem to be many bisexuals here attacking positions that haven’t been stated and answering questions that haven’t even been asked.”

    There MAY be some pre-empting going on – but when certain attacks are expected from people who deny bisexuality or biphobia’s existence, then it’s easier to get the counter-response out up front. Is there anything wrong with that?

    “I hear the word ‘discrimination’ raised far too often in the course of my life. Often the term is completely misused or there is another side to the story the alleger (if that’s a word) is not letting on. For example, being thrown out of a bar for being drunk rather than to do with sexuality.”

    Discrimination is an everyday occurrence. It happens all the time, and I’m sorry if you’re sick of hearing about it, but for some people it is a DAILY EXPERIENCE. Just go and talk to your local homeless person, someone who is not white, or any trans person. How about we accept that people are telling the truth (since it can be a subjective experience) before suggesting that we’re all lying?

    “If discrimination is real then I hope such issues are being raised with the ADB or HREOC.”

    Which is fine if you have the energy and resources, and a body to take to either of those groups. Being discriminated against by the person on the street – not likely to get anywhere. Really, it’d be a much better world if we all started being nice to each other.

    You seem stuck on the idea that bisexuals have straight privilege ALL THE TIME. Sometimes we are in same-sex relationships and sometimes we are not. Some of us are monogamous and some of us are polyamorous (which is the preferred term I’ve found).

    Surely those who are in same-sex relationships would want those relationships recognised as they could have their opposite sex relationships recognised?

    What we’re asking, which isn’t really that hard to grasp, is that those gays and lesbians who keep telling us that bisexuals:
    * are evil;
    * don’t exist;
    * aren’t helping the gay cause;
    * are transitioning between straight and gay; and
    * haven’t yet decided who they are
    to stop.

    We’d also like all the negativity about our participating in any LBTIQ event to stop.

  5. rob1966 says:

    “@Ruth .. nice attempt to align the issue of bisexuals with that of gays and lesbians by word swapping; but it is not an equivalent position.

    Gays and lesbians have been, and indeed still are, actively discriminated against by many heterosexuals, verbally abused by many heterosexuals, and physically abused by many heterosexuals – these claims could not be equally attributed to homosexuals and bisexuals.”

    Thanks for noticing!

    I think it is. Any heterosexual person that is going to discriminate is not going to care if you’re bi or gay/lesbian. What they care about is that in some capacity, we are sexually attracted to/sexually active/in love with etc someone of the same sex. So yes, bisexual people are at risk of being discriminated against, physically and verbally abused.

    What’s really shocking is when the abuse comes from a small, vicious part of the gay and lesbian community, people who should know better.

    As for relationships, I do go along to the Equal Love same sex marriage rights. I don’t want to get married through the state myself but I want to support those who do. I want to support the cause, even if it draws all attention away from any other same sex cause (such as the discrimination against young queer people) because I do think it’s something that people should be able to access.

    I’m sure I won’t be hussled out of the march because my bisexual body adds to the numbers. Oh, and a number of poly people will be along too but they won’t be excluded because that bolsters numbers quite a bit! Bisexuals are fine for this purpose (as they have bolstered many a gay and lesbian cause in the past) but don’t have a place in the Pride March? Seems a bit ridiculous to me.

  6. Look, this really is quite simple: this year, like every past year that I have attended, the bisexual group at Pride March was subjected to taunts and insults from the crowd. As far as I know, this does not happen to any other group.

    Those who seem intent on dismissing the negative experience of bisexuals from a bigoted minority in the gay and lesbian community need to decide which of the following is true:

    1) The taunts and insults didn’t happen, and we’re making the whole thing up, or

    2) The taunts and insults did happen, and you just don’t care.

    I honestly can’t see any other options here.

    Do you really want a Pride March in which some of its participants are heckled by hateful bigots on the sidelines? If you’re happen to accept that, then what’s the point of Pride March in the first place?

  7. @Ruth .. nice attempt to align the issue of bisexuals with that of gays and lesbians by word swapping; but it is not an equivalent position.

    Gays and lesbians have been, and indeed still are, actively discriminated against by many heterosexuals, verbally abused by many heterosexuals, and physically abused by many heterosexuals – these claims could not be equally attributed to homosexuals and bisexuals.

    I, for one, question the claims made in this article. I’m gay, and one of my best friends is bisexual. I have no issue with his sexuality, he has none with mine. He comes to “gay” venues with me, I to “straight” with him. Not once have I seen any form of “biphobia”.

    Of course, I could accept that if you brought your opposite sex partner to a “gay” venue you may get some resistance to entry – but no more so than if a heterosexual couple turned up at the door. Is that justified? Possibly not, but then if it is a “gay” venue why would you want to bring your opposite partner there and flaunt what is – to external observers – a “straight” relationship?

    Gays and lesbians have, for many years, been fighting for equality and equal recognition of their relationships. Bisexuals are now tagging onto that fight, and good on you for doing so – but don’t be upset if gays and lesbians don’t argue your case for you, or fight your fight.

    After all, gays and lesbians are currently fighting for same-sex marriage, to get their same-sex relationships given equal recognition as heterosexual relationships. That fight is hardly going to be assisted if it grows to encompass polyandrous or polygamous relationships as some bisexuals who have posted here enjoy.

  8. First up, thanks to Star for quickly adding in the references yesterday.

    I support Rebecca, Kathryn and Ruth’s comments and add one more in response to a post above.

    “if gay men and lesbians are as bad towards bisexuals as what is alleged here (and I emphasise ‘alleged’) then why is there this seeming yearning to join them on parades.

    Bi-alliance has contacted Pride March re this situation & they have been totally supportive of us and our members with good reason.

    Pride March Victoria is advertised as a GLBT event – that means G, L, B and T accepted equally, no ifs, no ands no buts.

    We, along with everyone, are invited and we march. To say that one group must accept unequal or undesirable treatment is simply not on.

  9. Mark – let’s re-write your words….

    “Quite obviously there is a concerted campain by “GAYS AND LESBIANS” to push there (sic) agenda within this articles (sic) comments section. It’s as if word has got out to the *insert gay/lesbian group of choice here* that they need to stand up to the heterosexuals!!

    As Shakespear (sic) once said “Methinks the lady doth protest too much”

    I think you’ll find that a number of people that don’t necessarily identify as gay or lesbian read this publication.

  10. Quite obviously there is a concerted campain by “BISEXUALS” to push there agenda within this articles comments section. It’s as if word has got out to the Bi-Alliance group that they need to stand up to the gays!!

    As Shakespear once said “Methinks the lady doth protest too much”

  11. David Skidmore said:

    “Moreover, if gay men and lesbians are as bad towards bisexuals as what is alleged here (and I emphasise ‘alleged’) then why is there this seeming yearning to join them on parades, discuss problems in on-line forums read by gays and drink alcohol with them in venues?”

    Let’s re-write this paragraph with ‘bisexual’ changed to ‘gay and lesbian’ and ‘gay and lesbian’ changed with ‘heterosexual’.

    “Moreover, if heterosexual people are as bad towards gays and lesbians as what is alleged here (and I emphasise ‘alleged’) then why is there this seeming yearning to join them on parades, discuss problems in on-line forums read by heterosexual people and drink alcohol with them in venues?”

    Sounds rather discriminatory to me. As a bisexual woman, if I read this written about anyone of any flavour of queer community, I would be upset and I would pull up anyone on their bad behaviour in this regard. I have done so in the past and will keep on doing so.

    Also I don’t think it’s a ‘yearning’ per se. I think it’s because bisexual people have to interact with discriminatory gays and lesbians in the queer community, just as anyone that falls under the queer banner does in the the wider world with straight people.

    Discriminatory straight people don’t see any distinction between whether you’re gay/lesbian, bisexual, transgender or any other spectrum of the rainbow. If you’re not straight, you are discriminated against. What would be nice is for bisexual people to not have to defend themselves on both fronts.

    We’re in this together. In fighting in the queer community only serves to divide us and weaken us.

  12. Mmm…as one of the authors of this piece I’m surprised – and yet not – by some of the responses posted here.

    To address our use of the term ‘biphobia’: homophobia is a term that is used to identify a cluster of attitudes and behaviours that includes verbal abuse, exclusion from venues and events, discrimination on the basis of orientation, denying the existence of homosexual people, claims that homosexuality can be cured (as though it is a disease/illness), physical violence, and so on. Some of the common responses of those who identify as homosexual to such attitudes and behaviours can be to ‘hide in the closet’, have low self-esteem and self-hatred. While I want to acknowledge that the issues/experiences for homosexual and bisexual people differ to some extent, bisexuals still experience a range of the attitudes and behaviours that homosexuals do. To my mind the differences are to do with not feeling that there is acceptance in the hetero or queer worlds. Personally I grew up with a homosexual father and a hetero mother, it took me a very long time to recognise that I am bi because I carried the denial of bisexual existence internally. This denial was outspoken within the gay communities I moved within during the years I was growing up – trying to figure this part of me. Since recognising and accepting this part of myself I live with a self-assuredness that I could never experience when I thought I was hetero or lesbian.

    Re ‘passing’: For a number of us we’re not happy to pass as hetero, because it denies a part of ourselves.

    Concerns (at times loudly and insensitively expressed) that bisexuals are harming the ’cause’, I feel is somewhat missing the point. I can see the line of argument but being attracted to the same sex is not solely the territory of people who are only attracted to the same sex. There are bisexuals who are in committed relationships with a partner of the same sex who would like to marry that person, or be afforded the same rights as hetero de facto couples, but are restricted from doing so just the same as homosexuals or lesbians.

    Regarding ‘rushing to play the victim’: do people think that a homosexual relaying experiences of verbal or (such as name calling on the street) physical abuse, feeling unsafe/unwelcome/unaccepted is likewise ‘rushing to play the victim’? Speaking for myself, I took part in writing this piece because I wanted to raise awareness within the queer community about the negative impacts that ‘phobic’ behaviours and attitudes have on bisexuals. I deliberately drew on research evidence that shows that these negative impacts are widely experienced. I most certainly acknowledge that gays and lesbians may experience similar poor outcomes but going on the research cited, bisexuals experience these at a greater rate.

    As we said in the article, “strengthening bi (and trans and intersex) people strengthens us all”. Monosexuality is not the only issue that deserves recognition. To loudly speak up on all issues affecting sex, sexuality and gender diversity as one large community betters us all by drawing attention to the mainstream straight section of society that they aren’t the only ones who deserve to have a voice.

  13. There seem to be many bisexuals here attacking positions that haven’t been stated and answering questions that haven’t even been asked. Moreover, if gay men and lesbians are as bad towards bisexuals as what is alleged here (and I emphasise ‘alleged’) then why is there this seeming yearning to join them on parades, discuss problems in on-line forums read by gays and drink alcohol with them in venues?

    I hear the word ‘discrimination’ raised far too often in the course of my life. Often the term is completely misused or there is another side to the story the alleger (if that’s a word) is not letting on. For example, being thrown out of a bar for being drunk rather than to do with sexuality.

    If discrimination is real then I hope such issues are being raised with the ADB or HREOC. If it is a case of being insulted then it may be easier to change the way you think than to change another person. For instance, I know it is easier to change my thinking than to change someone like Wendy Francis when it comes to my own sexuality. And I have to accept that Wendy Francis and so on are entitled to their opinion on gay sexuality.

    As it is said, “what other people think of me is none of my business”.

  14. “I will not go quietly
    I will not accept your rules
    gonna live with myself
    before I live with any of you”
    (I Will Not Go Quietly (Duffy’s Song) – The Whitlams)

    I identify as bisexual and have now for 20 years – I’ve never thought I was straight or gay – always bisexual. Yet at the Pride Marches I have been in, when marching with the bisexual community (since 2007), I have been booed, told to decide, told to get off the fence, and had my sexual identity derided.

    Let me be very clear here – this is a queer event (Pride March) and so is attended by a large number of gay and lesbian Melburnians. At this queer event, I have had my sexual identity called into question and made fun of.

    I’m made of relatively strong stuff, and so laugh at bigots who tell me that I’m being dishonest when identifying as a bisexual, but there are bisexuals who aren’t made of teflon coated kevlar like me – and do you think that it is fair to tell them that they’re wrong with their own identifiers? Do you think it’s ok for you to identify someone else on their behalf without any consultation?

    I wish it wasn’t the case that the way SOME gay and lesbian people treat bisexuals mirrors quite closely the persecution that gay and lesbians fought against for years. I wish it were actually true that those who don’t believe that bisexuality exists actually spent some time listening to bisexuals about their lived experience and let us decide whether we exist or not.

    We’re not a danger to you. We don’t dilute your movement. Like any group of individuals in any community, there is always arsehats, but no one should take them as representative – just as broader society is learning not to take gay or lesbian or women arsehats as representative of an entire group.

  15. Whilst I agree that there is some Biphobia, I havent personally experienced anything extreme- and I actually agree with Phil. Discrimination isnt the right word, I mean were talking about humans. If there is going to be something different, we will find ways to have problems with it.

    Its hard to know what to say when Sally must feel that she has been targeted and victimised. You have to take everyones personal preferances with a grain of salt.

    I did find it upsetting and curious when a few groups of people at the PRIDE MARCH threw out commentslike “choose a side” and my personal fave “bi now- gay later.” Funny how even though we were all walking for equal rights (across ALL walks of life) that the ones who were walking for stopping discrimination were actually the ones being discriminatory.

    Chris- you cant be serious?

  16. I am as out as I could possibly hope to be. I have been out as bisexual to my family and friends for years. I am comfortable with my sexuality and there is no part of my life where I would be treated any differently if I identified as lesbian. There would be nothing to be gained by pretending to be bisexual if I were really lesbian; I’d just be getting unwanted attention from men.

    I’m bisexual. I like, am drawn to, want connection with, want sexual contact with, want intimacy with, both men and women. Not all men and women of course – I’m choosy. But both genders. I am right now falling in love with a woman, and I have already a glorious unlabelled relationship with another woman, and two male partners. These are long-term committed loving deep mature wondrous polyamorous relationships (longest one 17 years).

    David I’ll give you one recent instance of how gays and lesbians are discriminating against bisexuals: when clearly out-and-proud gays and lesbians boo and hiss and make derogatory comments to the Bisexual Alliance float in Pride March. Of all places where we would expect acceptance or at least silence, to get attacked while marching in Pride BY GAYS AND LESBIANS was deeply distressing to a number of our community, particularly newcomers who were making the brave move of coming out for the first time for the march. Another example is a member of our community who as a member of the CFA and a footy trainer of the local under-18s was accepted as gay. When he was outed by someone as bi, he lost both jobs – because he was bi, not gay. It’s all the same discrimination GLBTIQ people have always experienced, which we expect from straights but which hurts far more from gay and lesbian people who know what this feels like.

    There are people who use their bisexuality to hurt people – sure. There are people who use the label to transition – I bet. There are bisexuals whose behaviour is reprehensible – no doubt. The same is true of many straight, gay, lesbian, trans, intersex, pansexual or whatever-identifying people. Don’t ascribe the poor behaviour of a stereotyped small subset to the entire group of people – that’s classic discrimination.

  17. I did have to let out a sad chuckle when I read Chris’s amusing line above: “I don’t want to be seen as mean towards them but…” Did anybody else read this and immediately hear “I’m not racist but…” in their heads?

    In just this handful of comments we have several people claiming that it’s all a load of rubbish and bisexuals aren’t discriminated against by the gay community at all, alongside gay people saying that bisexuality doesn’t exist, that bisexuals are just fearful gays who refuse to come out, that disliking bisexuals isn’t prejudice but simply a “preference”, that bisexuals do harm to the gay and lesbian community, and on and on and on.

    Have any of you even considered how you would feel if you participated in Pride March and had people in the crowd single out your group for abuse, telling you your sexual orientation is invalid, that you don’t exist, or that your sexuality makes you a bad person?

    Just try to imagine that, and tell me honestly that this behaviour does nobody any harm. You tell the person who was reduced to tears in our discussion group while describing how that abuse felt that no harm was done.

    The people who engage in that behaviour year after year should be ashamed of themselves, and if you defend that behaviour and claim it is justified, then you should be ashamed of yourself too.

    James Dominguez
    President – Bisexual Alliance Victoria Inc.

  18. @David Skidmore:
    How exactly are gays discriminating against bisexuals?
    1. By repeatedly denying their existence and questioning their identity.
    2. By excluding them from gay clubs and events.
    3. By creating an environment that is hostile to the open expression of bisexuality to the extent that bisexuals have to either pretend to be homosexual or leave. This happens online and in real life.
    4. By mocking the open expression of bisexuality.
    5. By refusing to acknowledge their own bias and instead turning a simple criticism into a who’s-the-bigger-victim pissing contest.

    Gay men and lesbians have by far the loudest and most powerful voices in the queer community. To most of the hetero world, the ARE the queer community and, it seems that many of them have bought into that. It’s all about the gays and the lesbians and if bisexuals or transpersons ever point out that they’re facing discrimination from within, we get told our issues aren’t that big a deal, that the Gs and Ls aren’t the enemy, or, worst of all, that our issues aren’t real.

    Well guess what? They ARE real and a fair number of Gs and Ls are bigots. Saying you can’t be bigots because you’re discriminated against yourselves is like my saying I can’t be racist because I’m not white. It’s complete horseshit.

    So instead of immediately presuming to dismiss someone else’s complaint, perhaps the more sensible, mature thing to do is to listen for a second and think, hmm, even if I personally have never ever heard a word against bisexuals, perhaps, somewhere out there, other people who happen to identify as I do HAVE, through word or action, made an even smaller minority feel erased and dismissed. And maybe that’s a bad thing.

    Empathy. It’s not that hard.

  19. For years, fundamentalists claimed gays and lesbians didn’t really exist, causing massive hurt and health damage to gays and lesbians. Denial is always the first form of discrimination faced by many groups

    Logically if gays and lesbians claim bisexauls don’t exist then it causes hurt to bisexuals. that is a denials to live our lives

    Star, we had asked that a list of references be published with the online version of this article – could that please take place?

    I believe it would refute many of the gay male fundalemtnalist (sic) claims made above.

    Ed’s note:As requested, references now included.

  20. I’m not sure that discrimitation acurately describes the treatment of individuals identifying as bisexual but I would certainly agree that many homosexuals are predjudiced towards bisexual individuals.

  21. I’m gay but I know a number of bi guys who are totally comfortable with who they are but choose to stay in the closet because of prejudice against bisexuals in both the gay and straight communities.

    The truth is that bisexuals are viewed by society as more odd and pervy than gay men are today.

    Straight people criticise them for their same-sex relationships “when they could choose to be normal” and gay people can be very uncomfortable with bisexuals socialising in the gay scene when they are opposite sex partnered, and pretty much everyone assumes they’re going to be cheaters or sluts.

    I personally know a guy who’s relationship with his family was ruined when he came out to them as bi despite his parents having close gay friends all through his childhood.

    Yes some gay guys use bi as a cover when they are first testing the water, but there are genuine bisexuals out there and if they all stood up and felt welcome the GLBTI community would be a lot bigger.

  22. Well said David,

    The arrrogance of Kathryn Wilson and Sally goldner to accuse gay/lesbians of discrimination is pure vilification.

    As you said show me examples where gay folk have denied you the right to live your lives.

    Jess you may be attracted to both genders but the fact is you are now in a straight relationship with all the priveleges that come with it..

    Explain to me where you are currently hurt by attitudes towards bisexuality?

  23. Well said, David Skidmore, the rush to proclaim “Victim” status begins to sound like a Monty Python sketch.

  24. Enough is enough alright. I am fed up with people who misuse terms like ‘phobia’ and ‘discrimination’ when they have a gripe. It seems everyone is discriminated against and everyone suffers from other people’s phobias. We all want to be victims.

    How exactly are gays discrminating against bisexuals? Are gays preventing bisexuals from marrying? Are gays systematically refusing bisexuals employment or services? Are bisexuals prevented from voting or participating in democracy due to gays? And are bisexuals being assaulted and/or murdered because of their bisexuality by gay people?

    It appears that one’s personal preferences somehow can be construed as a phobia. The harsh truth is that there will always be people who dislike us for our sexuality (gay or bisexual). As a gay man I have no problem with that. So long as those people just leave me be.

  25. Chris, it may well be true that many gay and lesbian people use bisexuality as a transitional identity but perhaps they shouldn’t? I know how hard it is to come out so perhaps it isn’t practical to say that. However, as a 31 year old bisexual woman I know my bisexuality is here to stay. It is my “true sexuality” and I often think that is unfortunate. I do not fit in either the straight or qay communities, neither of which understand what it means to be bisexual. Gay and lesbian people using bisexuality as a crutch and straight women posturing as bisexual to attract male attention make a mockery of my sexuality, which is highly marginalised anyway. Which angers me deeply. I am and have always been a staunch defender of gay rights, identify as queer, gender variant and very much love my male partner. I’m not the only one who feels like this either. I’m sure if the world was more bi-friendly there would be many more men and women who identified as I do.

  26. Biphobia exists – yeah right!!

    Regardless of what you say we all know that bisexualiy is used as a safety mechanism for those individuals who don’t feel completely comfortable with there true sexuality.

    I don’t want to be seen as mean towards them but they do such harm to to the general gay/lesbian community that it seems like people can chose who they are attracted to.

    Why is it all those individuals that i have known to have claimed themselves as bisexuals years ago now see themselves as either gay or lesbian!!

    Bisexuality is the first step to Gay Town.

  27. Thank you for speaking up about this. Bisexuality is so often misunderstood or overlooked in ‘queer’ forums as you say, and biphobia is prevalent in gay and lesbian agendas AS WELL as mainstream society.

    I am bisexual and I can relate very much to this. I was born this way just the same as gays and lesbians are, and heterosexuals too. It is time for equality for all members of out LGBTOI community!!!!!