As members of groups that support and advocate for bisexual people, we hear about prejudice not just from heterosexual but also homosexual communities (especially at ‘queer-friendly’ events and venues).
Enough is enough. That we are discriminated against in the homosexual and lesbian communities (groups who are subject to prejudice) feels more offensive than being discriminated against by mainstream society.
The distress of one of our members arising from biphobic prejudice while participating in this year’s Pride March, a supposedly queer-safe event, requires us to be more active in speaking up. Initial approaches to Pride March to improve matters have been met positively.
We want to raise awareness of the impact of attitudes reflected in taunts such as greedy, in transition, make a decision, traitors to the gay/lesbian cause, infidelitous — all of which reinforce the sense of non-acceptance.
Biphobia, discrimination and abuse directed towards bisexuals, often goes unacknowledged in discussions about discrimination in queer communities. Going on research findings of the deleterious impacts of biphobia, however, this requires urgent attention.
Bisexuals are more likely than lesbians or gay men to not be out to family and friends; experience covert and overt discrimination in both ‘straight’ and queer venues (including being asked to leave queer venues); suffer from mental illnesses such as depression or anxiety; be at risk for suicide; engage in behaviours that place their physical health at risk e.g. substance usage, being overweight; practise unsafe sex.
Bisexuals are no more likely to engage in multiple relationships than people who are gay, lesbian or heterosexual.
Imagine, or recall, what it is like to be subject to discrimination and misunderstanding because of your sexual identity.
The VGLRL believes strengthening bi (and trans and intersex) people strengthens us all.
It is time bisexuality is recognised as a legitimate sexual identity. We call on readers to join us in raising awareness about the impacts of biphobia and to stop these prejudices wherever they are seen.
info: Kathryn Wilson is with Bisexual
Alliance Victoria. Sally Goldner is with
the VGLRL and Bisexual Alliance Victoria.
Visit www.bi-alliance.org
REFERENCES
Browne K, Lim J (2008). Count me in too: LGBT lives in Brighton & Hove – Additional findings, bi people. University of Brighton & Spectrum: United Kingdom. http://www.spectrum-lgbt.org/cmiToo/downloads/CMIT_Bi_Report_Dec08.pdf
Conron KJ, Mimiaga MJ, Landers SJ (2010). A population-based study of sexual orientation identity and gender differences in adult health, American Journal of Public Health, 100(10), 1953-1960. http://ajph.aphapublications.org/cgi/content/short/100/10/1953
Cooney E (2010). Survey: Bisexual women in poorest health. White coat notes, 10 June. http://www.boston.com/news/health/blog/2010/06/_gays_lesbians.html
LGBT Advisory Committee: San Francisco Human Rights Commission (2011). Bisexual invisibility: impacts and recommendations. The author: San Francisco. http://www.birequest.org/docstore/2011-SF_HRC-Bi_Iinvisibility_Report.pdf
Moon MW, Fornili K, O’Briant AL (2007). Risk comparison among youth who report sex with same-sex versus both-sex partners, Youth & Society, 38(3), 267-284. http://yas.sagepub.com/content/38/3/267.abstract
Weitzman, G. (2006). Therapy with clients who are bisexual and polyamorous, Journal of Bisexuality, 6, 137-264. http://www.informaworld.com/smpp/content~db=all~content=a902686849~frm=abslink
[…] on drag queens? or the exclusion of trans* people from events and movements? Bisexuals cop a lot of crap to, either they are labelled as confused or greedy and are told they need to “choose” a […]
I am bisexual and know many bi men and bi women. The idea that most bi men and bi women are just too afraid to be gay is ignorant. I am an artist in my profession it would be better to be identified as gay than bisexual. As far as discrimination:
1) I was harassed by a lesbian and gay man in grad school and on the job as “in the closet” I have produced over 50 LGBT productions and still said to be “in the closet”
2) I was told that by a gay professor that I should not apply for the Point Foundation Scholarship because I was bisexual even though it is an lgBT scholarship.
3) when asked about my orientation by gays and I say “bi” the response is often “oh one of those”.
4) in Gay plays, literature etc. We are mocked. My X boy friend called me Bechum – the nefarious bisexual in Tales of the City.
5) a bisexual woman friend was beat up and assaulted by her lesbian lover because she was paranoid that my friend was cheating on her with a man, which was not true. Eventually this lesbian woman broke into my friends place and she put a restraining order on her.
I can continue this list with innumerable acts of harassment. I have been out as bisexual for 20 years most of my relationships have been with women and have had three boyfriends in the past. I live more in the straight world because my straight friends are ironically more loving and supportive than many of my gay and lesbian peers.
After receiving harassment on online dating mainly from gay men and straight women. I have had enough! I am now becoming more and more of a bisexual activist. I also have supportive gay and lesbian peers and will now ask them to help me stop biphobia.
The HATE must STOP!
Well, I’m totally gobsmacked at the responses here.
The interesting part is that the “Nay’s” are in-fact speaking the same truth as those in the hetrosexual community do with regard to homosexuality, to whit: “why don’t you become Us”, “You’re whinging” and the always popular “factually speaking you’re in the minority”.
Whoever heckled the bi community did everyone a big favour IMHO because it exposed the community’s biases for what they really are. A small number of small-minded people with an axe to grind.
Now, are we going to marginalise a group, or are we going to stand with them and say these simple words:
Discrimination under any circumstances is NOT ON.
It’s very simple, easy to understand and easy to remember. Moreover, it’s something that we *shouldn’t have to discuss*. If one part of the queer community is discriminating against another, however “alleged” this act may be, then the community becomes hypocritical and cannot therefore expect fair treatment from other larger communities, such as the greater heterosexual community.
This is a no-brainer people! Why are we arguing this back and forth?
It’s the people who claim not to be biphobic but then slam bisexuals here for daring to talk about prejudice they have experienced who have proved to me beyond a doubt that there is rampant biphobia in our community- and I’m gay btw.
This all goes a long way to explaining why in 13 years on the Sydney gay scene I have never met a single person in a bar who has admitted to being bi.
Seems like many of us are very ardently pushing a segment of our community into another closet.
Many of us have suffered terribly at the hands of bigots. It’s very sad that that has lead to some of us to a mindset where no one elses suffering can be seen to ever come close to our own as if that somehow threatened the profundity of our own suffering.
Homophobes don’t care whether you’ve slept with one guy or with guys your whole life- we’re all “faggots” to them.
Firstly, DexX, I am curious how you can be absolutely certain the hecklers at Pride March were gay and lesbian? Were they wearing signs? Pink Triangles perhaps?
A third option to your question might just be that said hecklers were heterosexuals … just a thought .
I think the answer to this ongoing argument is pretty simple – if the bisexual community isn’t happy with its attachment to the gay and lesbian community, piss off and start forming your own groups and communities. At least that way you’ll get what you want, can chse the agendas you want to chase and not feel the need to try and divide and erode the hard work put in by gays and lesbians around the globe for many decades now.
The sense of entitlement displayed my many commentators in this thread is ridiculous …. we owe you nothing and we are not obliged to include, so either be grateful that we do or piss off and do something for yourselves.
I’m still looking for a response to my very simple question.
All the people who think that bisexuals have nothing to be complaining about, please tell me which of the following viewpoints is the one you hold to:
1) There was no anti-bisexual heckling at Pride from a small number of people in the gay community, and anyone who says there was is a liar.
or…
2) Yes, I’m sure there was anti-bisexual heckling at Pride, and I just don’t care – those evil bisexuals deserve any abuse they get.
I can’t see any other options here, so please tell me which one best represents your opinion.
I’m bi and out, and I have been for 35 years. I’ve experienced non-acceptance from gay and lesbian people more times than I can count, and many more times than I have from people who are supposed heterosexuals. I don’t know if that’s considered to be discrimination or not, but it feels like it.
There is evidence, presented by proper scientific investigation, theorizing that the ability to have sexual relationships with both sexes is a natural and successful survival tool attributed to many kinds of animals. It is my deduction that this scientific insight may also be true for humans, therefore suggesting that people are born bisexual. Given this idea, I’ve noticed that most people tend to gravitate towards heterosexuality or homosexuality. In my opinion this is most likely a result of a socially influenced choice, or perhaps a fantasy preference. Personally, I feel unable to make a definitive choice regarding my sexuality, and I definitely have found no preference.
For those people who have posted here, and feel that bisexuality is not real, and that it’s okay to disavow us, how would you feel if I said I don’t believe your homosexuality is real? That scientific investigation suggests that homosexuality is just a preference, or a choice you’ve made?
Perhaps, now you know how I feel.
I know that human beings are more complicated than animals, but here’s some food for thought:
“bi now – gay or straight later”
“gays and straights are transitioning bi’s”
“bi’s don’t sit on the fence, we live with an open gate”
“gays and straights are just going through a phase until they get the courage to connect to their true nature”
LOL
“let’s look at some bi-invisibility:
* Gay and Lesbian Switchboard
* The Gay and Lesbian Foundation of Australia (GALFA)
* Gay and Lesbian Rights Lobby
* SameSame – Gay and Lesbian News
* Gay and Lesbian Tourism Australia
* Gay and Lesbian Health Victoria
* Gay and Lesbian Archives
* Gay and Lesbian Community Services
And that’s just some of the first page of google search on “Gay and Lesbian”. All these organisations CLAIM to work for the entire LGBTI community, yet all of them name themselves “Gay and Lesbian X”, as if the B, T and I parts of the community aren’t important or don’t exist. How’s that for hard data and clear facts?
Here’s a thought Rebecca, maybe when these organisations/groups that you have just vilified were first set up they were created by and for GAY/LEBSIAN people and only recently have felt pressured to somehow advocate for Bisexual and god knows why Transgender and Instersex as well. T& I themselves have stated there’s is a gender issue not sexuality.
I would sugggest you set up your own Bisexual Archives, Bisexual Health Victoria etc etc and you can advocate for your own community yourself instead of waiting and pestering the G/L community to always have to include your cause so we best not make you feel invisible.
David is wrong. Pure and simple.
And Rebecca, I wouldn’t want you to be in a position of authority in a court of law because clearly evidence is not your strong point whereas strawman arguments and unfounded (indeed arrogant) assertions clearly are your preferred way of dealing with issues.
You are not the only one here. Some of your bisexual colleagues have also massacred strawmen and applied inappropriate arguments to questions that haven’t even been answered. I might found a support group for strawmen. The poor bastards are copping a hiding.
I can also tell you that other groups actually have been jeered in Mardi Gras parades and the like. To say that bisexuals have been singled out is based on ignorance or a lie. Take your pick.
Secondly, I have a real problem if an organisation calls itself gay and lesbian and presumes to speak for those who do not identify as gay or lesbian. Nor do I engage in abuse towards bisexuals. However, that should be blindingly obvious if people actually took the time to read actual posts as opposed to spouting off assumptions. But apparently hard evidence doesn’t count – feelings do instead. And on the subject of feelings, my personal feelings towards bisexuality is that it’s none of my business.
I’m also fascinated with the quoting of Shakespeare and wonder if anyone actually knows what the quote means.
As for Billy Joe Bob, sweetie, you really need to take some of your own advice.
You asked for evidence, so far we have:
James Dominguez says:
Look, this really is quite simple: this year, like every past year that I have attended, the bisexual group at Pride March was subjected to taunts and insults from the crowd. As far as I know, this does not happen to any other group.
This is a statement from the President of the Bisexual Alliance and a potential example of systematic discrimination. There are serious issues with this happening at a queer-safe event, which explicitly welcomes alternative sexualities which are not just Gay and Lesbian.
I would appreciate it if you could show me any such law from say a non-white community discriminating against white people or any other group which is already politically dispossessed against the appropriate privileged group. Unless there are instances of this, I don’t see why this particular issue suddenly has to prove itself along these lines.
Do we also want to get as far as abusive people attempting to physically convert people of one queer sexuality to another through violence? That doesn’t seem like the resolution you’re seeking and I think we can say a vehement group with an agenda against a sub-population is eventually likely to take violent action.
If you are indeed seeking a resolution, your first course of action does not need to be to remove any entitlements to an identity from one party, nor does it need to be to. Even if the people with slogans such as “bi now – gay later” think they are being humourous, they need to understand how hurtful that kind of humour can be to other peoples’ identities.
To some people here this means discrimination, to you it does not, but appearing to support abuse by arguing semantics does not help a resolution.
While “what other people think of me is none of my business” is a beautiful sentiment, not everyone is capable of shrugging off abuse about fundamental aspects of their identity. It is consideration for these people which is at issue here as well as the potential harm in bigoted attitudes.
All these people are asking is as you have asked, for others to leave them be and that is not happening.
methinks the @David Skidmore doth protest too much.
dude, someone who had the guts to identify with their sexuality and march in a Pride parade, no matter what that sexuality is, has the right to do so, and to be applauded for doing so.
hearing the gay community spouting the same hatred that they themselves experienced for so many years from the het community “it’s just a phase”, “you’re not really bi” makes me sad.
fucken, let people identify as what they want to identify as. celebrate the wonderful diversity of the human condition, and revel in ALL the colours of the rainbow.
don’t be a closed minded fucktard.
peace out.
@David Skidmore
You deal in hard data and clear facts only? Wow, I wouldn’t want ANY discrimination case I bring before an authority brought before you. FEELINGS matter. And you have several witnesses here (go on, claim we all have colluded) that are stating that anti-bisexual comments were made at Pride March. We’re claiming that they’re biphobic comments, as gay and lesbian people would call homophobic comments thrown against them in a similar fashion.
Since the gay and lesbian community is not a government (no matter how much we wish that may be the case) they haven’t created any laws that impact on bisexuals, but let’s look at some bi-invisibility:
* Gay and Lesbian Switchboard
* The Gay and Lesbian Foundation of Australia (GALFA)
* Gay and Lesbian Rights Lobby
* SameSame – Gay and Lesbian News
* Gay and Lesbian Tourism Australia
* Gay and Lesbian Health Victoria
* Gay and Lesbian Archives
* Gay and Lesbian Community Services
And that’s just some of the first page of google search on “Gay and Lesbian”. All these organisations CLAIM to work for the entire LGBTI community, yet all of them name themselves “Gay and Lesbian X”, as if the B, T and I parts of the community aren’t important or don’t exist. How’s that for hard data and clear facts?
Many of the comments on here have nicely proven our point about biphobia in the lesbian and gay community (practised by a few of course).
As a friend of mine once wrote:
“It takes some kind of extraordinary arrogance to declare an identity for someone else. This is an attitude that says, ‘My perceptions are more important than your lived experience.’ ‘My comfort in my ability to correctly assess people overrides the truth.’ It is extraordinary what lengths humans will go to in order to make the world in line with their screwy ideas about the people in it. As for ‘the truth,’ that’s the thing. The truth is that someone’s identity is whatever they hold it to be. Asserting your idea of what a person is over theirs says that it’s okay for everyone to weigh in on and locate and decide it as an objective truth. And almost inevitably it’s an “impartial” outside observer who has the right idea, and they locate the truth of someone’s identity quite outside the grasp of the individual concerned. There is no good reason why your ideas about what a person is like, or what people with an identity are like, should trump the experience and history and, you know, understanding of their own being, of the person with said identity, no reason at all. Forcing your ideas about what a person is onto them is presumptuous and bizarre; how on earth do you think you know better about a person and their life than they do?”
(http://zeroatthebone.wordpress.com/2010/02/10/on-identifying-identities/)
And as many commenters here are really saying:
“Now for those who are unaware, the tone argument goes something like this:
Privileged person: *dumps prejudice, bigotry and general badness all over marginalised person, sporking their eyes*
Marginalised person: damn it, you’re sporking my eyes, cut that shit out and educate yourself, I don’t need it
Privileged person: Oh my god you’re SOOOO MEAAAAAN, how can you be so cruuuuuel, pass me the smelling salts I feel faint! *collapses onto the fainting couch* Oh my poor fee-fees.
Privileged people: There there. Marginalised person, couldn’t you have been more polite and gentle? Did you have to be so meaaaan?
And lo, this is the tone argument. The idea that a privileged person can stomp on all kinds of sore spots and triggers while throwing sporks around willy-nilly, but the marginalised people must be on their bestest bestest behaviour (despite being angry, hurt, offended and sporked) when calling them out – if they’re allowed to call them out at all. And there is a lot wrong with this. From the marginalised person constantly having to swallow their pain for the sake of the privileged’s feelings. To the marginalised people taking a constant barrage of this shit all the damn time every damn day. To the idea that a marginalised person has a duty to educate privileged people who don’t get it or can’t be bothered to google it. And then we have the sure and certain knowledge that after an hour or so of being dragged over the coals dredging up your bad experiences, pain and general badness for the privileged person’s education, it’ll be
forgotten/doubted/ignored and then the next in line will want a turn.”
(http://www.womanist-musings.com/2010/11/spark-of-wisdom-in-defense-of-going-for.html)
What’s really depressing is that we’re even having this discussion. That some people feel the urge to say, “No, this can’t be happening, I don’t like it, so it’s not happening” versus, “Wow that sucks, what can we do to stop it happening again”.