AT what point did the LGBTI community get so many friends and allies in this world that we could afford to throw them away so lightly?
I’m talking about the accusations being publicised that Gosford Anglican Church’s Father Rod Bower is a hypocrite because he doesn’t perform same sex weddings.
I have been involved in the movement for marriage equality for over a decade, performing “illegal” weddings in my capacity as a Metropolitan Community Church pastor, organising rallies and conferences, and writing and debating in defence of same-sex marriage.
As far as I know, the idea has always been that being involved in a same-sex marriage, either as a bride or groom, a celebrant or a guest, is a voluntary step people that make joyfully because they want to do so. It’s not a test of loyalty to the LGBTI community, and we don’t condemn people who choose not to be involved. It’s a personal decision that people make for all sorts of personal, religious and political reasons.
Religious ministers always exercise personal discretion in what religious ceremonies they conduct. For instance, if I want to, I can refuse to perform any marriages at all, because I want to focus on other areas of ministry. Alternatively, I can perform many marriages and turn it into a cottage industry with a high turnover as a fundraiser for my church.
My own decision has been to perform marriages either in political demonstrations, or otherwise exclusively for members of my congregation when I have interviewed them and been satisfied that they’ve considered the responsibilities involved in a decision of this magnitude.
However, nobody has the right to compel me to perform marriages if I don’t want to. If someone disagrees with my decisions, they’re free to go somewhere else.
Since the rise to social media fame of his church notice boards, Father Bower has been one the best allies that our community could wish for. He has voluntarily taken on the stigma that LGBTI Christians carry all the time, and made the sacrifice of becoming a personal target as a consequence.
Other ministers from mainline denominations have “fallen on their swords” and lost their jobs and even their ministries because of their integrity in supporting the LGBTI community. Mike Hercock and Matt Glover are well-known examples.
Are we suggesting that this is compulsory for all ministers, and that those who fail to sacrifice their vocation are not loyal enough to our cause? Setting the bar this high will make it so difficult to be an ally that many people just won’t be able to do it.
And yet, such allies are incredibly important, because the LGBTI Christians they can support are some of the most vulnerable members of our community — especially the younger ones.
While the world becomes more accepting of gay kids, many religious families are making a point of being less accepting than ever in order to resist the social and peer pressures that they view as un-Christian. Consequentially, appallingly high rates of homelessness and rejection occur among LGBTI youth who come from religious families.
Just this month, Rolling Stone published a feature article following the difficult lives of many youth who have gone through just this.
That’s why voices like Father Bower’s matter so much. These are voices which stay within the religious context and provide an alternative narrative — one which might just save somebody’s life.
Being that person leaves Father Bower caught between the proverbial Scylla and Charybdis of a global and national Anglican communion that intensely dislikes his views, and a secular community that wishes he would move faster.
Is it really so hard to understand that in order to show leadership within mainline denominations, sympathetic voices like his need to remain within the denomination, and to do so, he might have to compromise and observe a few church doctrines that he would prefer not to?
Karl Hand is a Pastor at Sydney’s LGBTI-friendly Crave MCC.
(Main image: Karl Hand with Rod Bower (centre) and Mike Hercock at this year’s Mardi Gras Parade. Supplied photo.)
There is not much to add to what Rev Karl Hand and Stuart Edser have already said. In my almost 30 years of ministry I have met a small number of clergy who like Father Rod have stood up and fought for the rights of our community. They have all faced opposition within their denominations. Some have been part of gradual change and others have had their careers, lives and often families destroyed because of their stance for justice. All of them, including Father Rod, have saved the lives of young people often struggling to understand their sexuality. Father Rod has my full support and I strongly echo the voices of Rev Karl and Stuart. You can show your support to Father Rod at MCC Sydney at 6.30pm Sunday 28th Sep as he will be our guest speaker. MCC Sydney 96 Crystal Street. Petersham.
I’ll repeat what I posted on the other Star Observer article (emphasising that we should make separation of church and state REALLY work!)
This shows there has been no real debate on the issue. For example, why do people of faith get to double-dip?
1. By going through the rites of their religion.
2. Getting a certificate of marriage from the government.
Marriage in the civil sense has changed so much that giving-it-to-the-gays is tokenistic and insulting. Surely it’s time marriage went away altogether. Especially given the embarrasing divorce rate. I even heard that the lesbian couple who were the poster girls for the New Zealand campaign didn’t last a year together.
In the absence of marriage laws religions can go on conducting ceremonies under their own rules as section 116 of the Constitution* allows. People who practice no religion would be free to do whatever they like. True equality is in that sort of freedom from government sanctions.
*There’s nothing in the Australian Constitution about sex, sexuality or gender. That is why religions always have an upperhand on these issues.
OMG a gay couple might divorce so all gay couples should not marry? Seriously?
Well, this law everyone is insisting is their right clearly says marriage is “for life”. I would take it seriously. But that’s just me. I don’t see how you’re flippancy supports the cause.
Some gay couples have been married for years, get over it.
It is possible to walk and chew gum. Imagine the anguish of Penny Wong when Bill Shorten decided to call those who cut our heads off, friends and allies. Supporting Tony Abbott to help defend Saudi Arabia, Penny must have thought fuck, these are the places that have police stationed at hospitals to charge women who have been raped, WTF Bil Shorten? Penny is trying to stay and fight the hard line Catholic nuts like Bill Shorten and his SDA Union mates. I bet if they only cut the heads off Labor or Liberal members, we would not be spending a 100 billion at a time of so called budget crisis, on yet another open ended war. Can anyone imagine how difficult it must have for Penny to sit through Gillards proposal to send refugees, including GLBTI refugees, to Malaysia, who even just the other day arrested two 21 year old girls who they think might be lesbian. They face 7 years jail and cainning if convicted. The Labor and Liberal Party support our torture and death in many parts of the world.
Just today, the Labor Party joined with the LNP, so they access every electronic device, and check very email and smart phone app. Your Camarra on your phone can now be accessed at anytime, alone look up grindr. Most of us vote Labor or Liberal. There is even rainbow Labor. Some fight for change within an organization, because they feel their voice is stonger doing so. Mr Bower can mary a gay couple and get the sack, or stay for the good fight. Thank God he chose to stay.
Equally, every time someone says YES to Optus, they are helping the owner, the Singapore government, continue to imprison GLBTI people. Singapore is a country where we even oral sex is illegal, let alone homosexual sex. In this complicated world few of us are all or nothing. The AFL just dumped Royal Brunei Airlines, as from January the country of Brunei will stone gay people to death. But few complain every time the ball is bounced at Etihad Stadium, the AFL is promoting an Islamic State that still has the death penalty for GLBTI people in another part of the world. Our airline qantas, has a deal with emirates, try walking up the street there in a loving embrace and you will be on death row.
The Anglican Church in Australia presently does not support equal civil rights for GLBTI people, Bower is providing an alternative message of hope, and I hope he stays on, just as I hope Penny Wong gives Bill Shorten hell at every caucus meeting when heterosexual supremacist say we should have less rights then others, or call those who give us terror, friends and allies. I also hope Malcolm Turnbull stays and articulates an alternative vision for Australia. Bower, Penny Wong, and Malcolm Turnbull, are powerful allies trying to end our suffering within there different organizations. They need our support, not our anger.
Glad to be 100% atheist!
Religion, all/any religion/s are death cults that are corrupt to the core on money and live on continuous homophobia – just like murders, shootings and acts of terrorism, all/any sort of religion/s justs fucks up the whole world like it has done now!
I can only shake my head in disbelief sometimes at the burdens we place on each other under the umbrella of religion or ideology. Fr Rod Bower, without the tiniest shred of doubt, is a good man and a steadfast friend and ally to all LGBT people. His support for marriage equality is renowned throughout Australia as well as internationally. For a former parishioner of the grand total of six months to leave in high dudgeon because she deems him a hypocrite is frankly a bit rich and just a little too precious. This guy has put his reputation on the line and probably his job and family security on the line in order to be our ally. He has to be careful. He cannot afford to be foolish. I cannot think but that his bishop has more than likely been showered in complaints from conservatives baying for his blood. Fr rod himself said in an interview, “The bishops may not always agree with what I say but they feel very strongly that we have to have these conversations”. It is easy to read between the lines here to know that he has to tread a careful path. He knows that when the forces of religious conservatism garner their strength and focus, good people can get hurt. Pastor Karl reminded us of pastors Mike Hercock and Matt Glover as examples.
An absolute requirement of any activist is a certain degree of emotional maturity; otherwise burnout, depression or anxiety can ensue. That maturity guides a person to know which battles to wage and which to keep for another day. Obviously Fr Rod belongs to an organisation, one that at this point in time, cannot go as far as marriage equality. I hope that changes in the future. I am sure Fr Rod hopes that too. But it has not yet. He simply cannot go willy nilly marrying same sex couples once the law changes, even though I am sure he would like to be able to officiate at same sex weddings one day in the future. He knows that the Anglican Church worldwide is riven over the gay question and by consequence, the gay marriage issue is hotly contested. He remains inside the Anglican tent, as Pastor Karl has said, to be the voice of LGBT reason and to further the cause of equality and what he would see as a just ministry to LGBT people. He will wait until there is shift and until such time, he will no doubt advocate for it, and do so as passionately as he can.
This does not make him a hypocrite. This makes him a sensible advocate and a careful family man. He is in the same category as those who have been fighting for women’s ordination and women as bishops within Anglicanism. They stayed, they talked, they persuaded, they won. They also were not hypocrites, just because it took time. To reduce his efforts to a simplistic ‘talk the talk, walk the walk’ platitude does him no honour and is quite ungracious.
I for one, along with Pastor Karl Hand whose opinion above I endorse, am happy to stick my hand up and say that Fr Rod Bower is one of our staunchest and most courageous allies. I applaud him, thank him for his efforts and his very obvious courage and wish him and his family well in the future as he continues to be a very public voice of sanity in our often crazy Australia.
8 Godfrey Street
Waratah
yeah, my religion forbids me to treat women as equals, so please don’t isolate me just because i don’t intervene when a husband bashes his wife.
…seriously. why are we still talking to sky fairies?