The blood sisterhood

It’s great being in a lesbian relationship. Double the wardrobe, double the hair product and double the fun (bags)! But unfortunately, double the PMT.

One of the magical things about being a lady is that our menstrual cycles sync up when we’re in frequent close proximity to each other. I say ‘magic’ because the jury’s still out on whether the ‘N’Sync’ phenomenon actually exists.

My very first share house experience was living with three other gals (and an energetic kelpie) and sure enough our periods synchronised.

If a house of four irritable chicks wasn’t bad enough, one time the dog got into the toilet bin and left an assortment of sanitary products all through the lounge room. I arrived home to what looked like an episode of CSI and for a moment wondered which one of us had been dismembered. The dog wagged its tail.

The trauma of this experience brought us girls closer together, which makes you wonder why the expression is ‘blood brother’.

No ladies are in closer proximity to each other than lesbian lovebirds. While it’s wonderful being with someone who can empathise with what you’re going through each month — who knows to rub your belly and not take offence when you’re a bit snappy — when your periods sync up, you’re both too irritated to give a fuck.

This happened recently with my gf. We’re both playful, easygoing chicks, so it was out of character when I snapped at her for asking a question about whether Americans actually thought kangaroos could fly. I had shocking period pain and wasn’t in the mood to play. She was PMTing and feeling sensitive so took offence.

The ‘N’Sync’ phenomenon meant neither of us was prepared to initiate a hug — even though that’s exactly what we both needed.

I blame myself. When we first started dating, our periods were weeks apart, but then I, being the competitive athlete that I am, sped up to try and overtake her. When I eventually did, I jumped around bragging that I was the winner!

My gf quickly pointed out that a shorter menstrual cycle meant more frequent bleeding and than she had in fact ‘won’. Grrrr.

At least now we’re neck and neck, which is handy because I never know when my period is due so I rely on her PMT as a heads up. Lesbian WIN!

By MONIQUE SCHAFTER