Finding a life partner isn’t easy. But one gay Sydney man is determined to meet his match – and he’s going about it in an original way. 

“The course of true love never did run smooth.”

It’s been a famous saying since it first appeared in William Shakespeare’s A Midsummer Night’s Dream in the late 1500s. 

It refers to the fact that people in love often have to overcome difficulties in order to be with one another. But, really, it could refer to all aspects of love, including finding it.  



Tom* is a retired gay man living in Sydney. 

Last month, he made quite a splash after taking out full-page advertisements in both the Sydney Star Observer and Melbourne Star Observer. 

“Genuine, caring, established guy seeks life partner,” the adverts were headlined.

“How does a guy find a nice bloke these days?” it asked.

The advertisements, a talking point of the gay scene since they were published, listed various ways Tom—a successful Sydney professional—has gone about finding that “nice bloke”.

The internet? “I’m looking for friendship, a possible relationship, but not casual sex … the replies I get don’t seem to sync with what I’m looking for.”

Gay groups? “Mostly, I meet nice gay couples or occasionally single party animals.”

Of gay bars, he noted that he “was never much good at meeting new people in that scene. And these days, activities that start towards midnight are past my bedtime”. 

In a comment that struck a chord with many of us, he wrote: “I may be too late, and I may have spent too much time in the company of wonderful straight male friends, but I’m still looking. I suppose there are lots of potential ways but none of them has really worked for me.” Hence, his original and brave decision to take out an advertisement!

Speaking to the Star Observer this month, he says he’s had several replies that have given him hope, but is still looking to meet that special someone. 

A caring, sensitive man who’s looking to enjoy life in his retirement, Tom’s diverse range of interests include travel, dining out, theatre, movies, reading and keeping abreast of current affairs.

He especially likes travel.

“We’re very lucky in Sydney to be able to get so quickly and easily to beautiful places up the coast,” he says. 

“I love short breaks, like getting away to a beautiful, not-too-touristy bay somewhere in Tasmania, preferably with good food and wine not too far away.”

Travel further afield is also an interest.

“My younger days backpacking in Africa are over, but I enjoy getting to France, Italy and the US to visit friends and do my favourite things there – from beautiful countryside to Broadway,” Tom says.

“I prefer a week away on a Greek Island or in a beautiful location here, as opposed to a luxury cruise with a 3000 others.”

Speaking about his interest in theatre, he says: “I’ve been blessed with some new and exuberant friends in the theatre, so lately I’m getting to more, small, local stage productions, particularly some Jeanine Tesori musicals at the Hayes Theatre …which punches way above its weight!

Food is a keen interest and Tom likes to visit restaurants, especially “old favourites (Greek and Italian) at Potts Point —and trying new ones”.

But most of all, he loves the water.

“I’m one of those people who really enjoy the water and need to live near it,” he says.

“I love the water, I love ocean views, I love the beach and I get into the ocean regularly: two to three times a week, including winter months – always come out refreshed!”

An engaging man who likes to meet people, and who is involved in mentoring high school and university students through various charities, Tom loves “a kind face” and encourages people to get in touch and get to know him.

So if you have similar interests and—like Tom—are looking to meet that special someone, why not reach out and make contact? 

Email [email protected] to make contact.

*Not his real name


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