Domestic violence affects us too
While two federal inquiries into marriage equality have dominated public and media attention over the past few weeks, there is another important inquiry happening at the moment which you may not have heard about — the Legislative Council inquiry into domestic violence trends and issues in New South Wales.
Our community is vocal when it comes to homophobic attacks from outside, but much less so when violence happens in our own homes or in our own relationships. Perhaps the silence comes from lack of awareness.
“Do gay people bash each other?” was the surprised response of a friend of mine when I mentioned the inquiry.
Unfortunately, yes they do. Moreover, domestic or family violence is not limited to acts of physical or sexual violence, but can include many other forms of verbal, emotional, psychological, financial and social abuse.
Numerous studies have indicated that rates of domestic violence within the LGBTI community are similar to those in the broader community. The patterns of domestic violence or cycles of abuse are often very similar.
However, there are also issues which are unique to our community, and the abuse may not conform to gender stereotypes.
There are reasons why LGBTI people may choose to stay silent about the domestic violence they experience. In addition to the stigma often associated with domestic violence, we may fear the homophobia or transphobia associated with having to come out in order to disclose our situation.
Further, given the small and often tight-knit communities many of us live in, social relationships between victim, perpetrator and community may make any acknowledgement of abuse embarrassing or further traumatising. The perpetrator may have turned the community against the victim, or isolated them from support options.
“She said I was wasting my time with my family and friends as they didn’t understand me and didn’t understand us. She controlled my days, my social calendar, the clothes that I wore and the people I would speak to.” — Kim, domestic violence survivor.
If you think you might be experiencing domestic violence, or know someone who is, the local website Another Closet — www.anothercloset.com.au — is a great place to seek support and information.
ACON’s Anti-Violence Project — http://www.acon.org.au/anti-violence — and the Inner City Legal Centre’s Safe Relationships Project — http://www.iclc.org.au/srp — are also excellent resources.
This week’s Legislative Council inquiry public hearing is a great opportunity for us to advocate for a better understanding of the issues and improved access to appropriate services for our community.
However, it is also up to us — as individuals and as a community — to educate ourselves, look out for each other, and say no to domestic violence.
By JUSTIN KOONIN, NSW GLRL
