A friend asked which famous ladies I had a crush on. I’d like to share this highly important information with you in an anticipation-building countdown from 10 to one.

#10. Missy Higgins. Sooo freakin’ predictable. When she burst onto the scene (music scene) in 2004 with Scar I was less taken by the song than by the spunky shorthaired, barefoot tomboy in the clip.

Speaking of Fallin’ for the ladies, #9 is Alicia Keys. Hot, tough, soulful. Can we have sex now?

#8 is my quirky-crush, writer/ actor/ director Miranda July. Her work celebrates the idiosyncratic qualities in people. I could share my weirdest thoughts and behaviours with her and she wouldn’t bat an eyelid.

Another singer is #7, Sharon Van Etten. An indie-folkster from Brooklyn whose songs are bittersweet. Lady lover? Hope so.

#6. Jennifer Byrne. I have more than a brain-crush on this woman. She’s also the wife of my former boss Andrew Denton, which made work Christmas parties awesome yet weird.

Remember that song I’ll Kill Her from 2007? I’ve had a thing for Soko, #5, ever since. Cheeky, immature and naively honest. It helps that she’s cute.

#4. Chelsea Handler. An American stand-up and host of late-night talk show Chelsea Lately. She’s brutally sarcastic and flirtatious and cuts straight through Hollywood’s bullshit.

#3 is my favourite little smart arse, Juno. I mean Ellen Page. Love that movie. Love that kid. Well, she’s not actually a kid. She’s only seven years younger than me.

#2. Natalie Portman. A Harvard grad who rocked a shaved head in V For Vendetta and performed a self-deprecating gangsta rap for Saturday Night Live. She’s Hollywood-beautiful but with an uber-sexy fuck-off edge.

Coming in at #1 (drum roll, please) is the one and only Claudia Karvan. My love for her is beyond words.

It was super-hard to cull this list to just 10 fine ladies.

Next, my top 10 famous man-crushes. Lesbian-style.

By MONIQUE SCHAFTER

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