It’s a sad, confronting, terrifying, but ultimately inevitable, fact of life for anyone who owns a penis – eventually, you will need help getting that thing up!

Pushing Rope

It starts innocently enough, with your inability to get a woody the first time easily explained away by the fact that you must have imbibed too much booze in the lead up to the big event – it’s just brewer’s droop!

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Eventually, after a few too many sessions of pushing rope, not so easily excused, you start to face up to the fact that you might need to speak to someone about this, getting up the guts to broach the embarrassing subject with your doctor and you’re somewhat mollified by the result.

It’s no big thing! It happens to everyone! It’s No. Big. Deal!

Made For Chest Pain

Well, with the magical help of modern medicine it doesn’t have to be, since Pfizer accidentally discovered the holy grail of the eternal stiffy in 1998 while they were looking for a treatment for heart-related chest pain, a.k.a angina. The male participants in the study, while reporting improvement for their chest pain, also did run and tell of another unexpectedly exciting, money-making side effect – the ability for men to get erections until the end of their days!

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Viagra, the vi” suggesting vitality and the agra” representing the cultivation of absolute human ingenuity has also been the saving grace of the gay community since its invention and is not only useful for the older gentleman who can’t seem to ring that bell as robustly as they once did. It is also a godsend for party boys from one end of the globe to the other!

Because apparently indulging in certain substances does affect your ability to get the blood pumping to the good bits, though mixing these kinds of drugs with those kinds of drugs could be considered risky behaviour.

But beware of the eggplant erection – Priapism! A much-dreaded side effect, though its prevalence is highly exaggerated by pop culture, it’s an erection that lasts longer than four hours, which sounds fun but which is actually terrifyingly painful and usually has to be drained by a small needle that seems huge, jammed into an area that was only supposed to be treated nicely!

For informational purposes only. This article is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice and should not be relied on as health or personal advice.

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