I’m usually beaming from ear to ear every time I see a first-time frocker or baby showgirl strut or stagger into a club. Fond memories of my first venture out in a pair of stilettos flood back. The agony of my feet and tuck gush back as though it was yesterday, standing 10 feet high in my shoes, swishing like I was on the catwalks of Milan.
Personally I was terrified of all other the showgirls and would admire them from a distance. When I was finally approached or gained enough courage to go up and talk to them, I would be shaking with nerves.
I was lucky enough to make many great showgirl friends, so I learned many tricks of the trade, simple things that have helped make me the showgirl I am today.
This week I thought I would share a few tips to help budding showgirls make their first venture out as ladies a little more comfortable.
I am just going to focus on the face and make-up. If you are going to don a frock only once or twice, why not just pay a professional to do it? If you want to try it out for yourself, keep these few simple rules in mind.
Stay away from your girlfriend who is a make-up artist and swears black and blue she can do it. She is usually trained in wedding and photographic make-up for women. You’re not a woman and your face is different.
Lashes are a must. It is hard to control my giggles when I see a young boy proclaiming to everyone that his boy lashes are so long and luscious that he doesn’t need falsies. The exaggeration is not complete unless you have a full set of eyelashes to flutter at everyone.
Your foundation is also very important. It usually feels like you are wearing a mud mask but the thicker the better. Most men have facial hair and, although we all pray for that super close shave, hair seems to have a mind of its own and will grow. A nice thick foundation will give you a few hours to display your feminine side before there is any sign of the butch seeping through.
Glitter, glitter, glitter -“ I know it’s not very F.I. (I’ve been told this means female illusionist, not what I thought: f***ing idiot). Glitter can hide a multitude of flaws and sins that even a heavy-handed make-up brush seems incapable of.
If eyebrows are stubborn, a spray of glitter will sparkle them away. Although your pash tally may be reduced, a healthy glittered lip will add fullness and have you pouting all night long.
As I said before, if you’re doing it only once, get a professional to help you. The one-stop drag shop would have to be House of Priscilla. Chelsea can hook you up with a make-up artist, hair, outfit and shoes all in one sitting.
Oh, and don’t bring in a picture of Vanity and Courtney and expect to look like them. They are freaks of nature, trust me.

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