And it rained and rained and rained, then it was hot, then some more rain. Okay, I know that we are still caught in this hideous drought but if I hear one more, Oh we do really need it, you know, I am going to scream.

Like the trouper I am, I was lucky enough to open Fair Day’s main stage at the tender time of 11am after opening the new show at Stonewall the night before and almost having to swim to the cab outside.

By 11am the rain had stopped and the sun was peeking through.

Like many Fair Day-goers I had packed for a wet weather day so ended up lugging around umbrellas and jackets, whilst getting burnt to smithereens and sinking in a still muddy ground.

I am happy to say that I only went arse-over-fake-tit once, and even then it was in the dressing room and no one saw me.

The main stage, as always, was a lot of fun, though the first half hour was like performing to the sound guy and a handful of early risers.

After quite a few shuffles and shoves we had everything on track and the blossoming crowd started to take shape.

Some of the entertainers who got the early time slot were: Dolly Downunder, an absolute riot who can be seen at the Seymour Centre; Trevor Ashley -“ see him at the Midnight Shift Club; Denise, the singer-cum-resident MC at the hugely successful Dikes On Mikes; and a long-time friend and someone to watch in 2005, Vassi -“ she is fucking fabulous.

It wasn’t long before it was my turn to hand over to Portia and start my international food stall tour.

After a quick waltz around the stalls, the call of a stiff drink and somewhere to take off my heels was too strong.

With a handful of Irish lesbians in tow I snuck across to the Lansdowne where everything was made better with a few ales.

I have to take my hat off to everyone who ventured out on Sunday and supported Fair Day, proving that, come rain, hail or shine, our community spirit is still at full force.

I must send out a huge thank you to everyone behind the scenes, especially Annette -“ you are all legends.

EYESPY Who is the fabulous show girl who let the graphic designers have their way with her for a new poster she did? Looking less curvy and more model-like, the showgirl has no complaints.

The Boys Of Summer boat cruise is on 3 March and tickets can be bought from Stonewall -“ just $50, and they’re selling very quickly.

Did any showgirl actually go to the audition for the musical version of Priscilla? You had to sing, dance and act, but no mime. Shit, what type of drag show is it going to be?

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