When his breath smells
So the seductive moving on the dancefloor is peaking and you are the closest you can be to another human being while clothed.
His knee is sitting delicately between your legs, rubbing in that way that you know is sexual harassment. You place your hands on his back to pull him in together, you lean in, close your eyes, open your lips and loosen your tongue. Then it hits you.
Like a punch in the face, his breath is so bad that you are left with no choice but to pull away, desperately trying to hide your gagging by busting into a new dance move.
The kiss is the most crucial part of the whole experience. Whether a fling or a date, the kiss is always the biggest pressure point for any chance of moving forward. And if your breath isn’t up to scratch you may as well kiss any chance of a future goodbye.
But what if he’s so darn hot that the idea of letting his knee out from under you doesn’t form part of the equation? What if, bad breath or no bad breath, letting him go is not an option?
The first thing you can do is race to the bar and get him a strong lolly drink. Make sure he drinks at least half the bottle before you attempt to kiss him again, after all a nice fruity kiss is always better than something that tastes more like an athlete’s sock after an Olympic triathlon.
Failing that, there are tonnes of other places you can kiss besides the mouth – an no, I am not talking about areas below the waist!
Try a few well-placed lips to his neck, shoulders, hands and even his ear. It has the advantage of keeping you away from that cavern of odour while also teasing him a little more until you can find a 7-Eleven to grab some gum.
Speaking of which, it is probably best to buy a pack of Minties instead of gum. Not only will it improve the breath situation, but it can also freshen up a certain other part of the body that only reveals itself after a lot of stimulation!
Of course, you can always just let him go through to the keeper. After all, there is sure to be another hot guy out there for you – maybe even on the same night if you play your cards right.
Oh, and while you are at it – remember you could be the person with the stale breath … so keep a mouth freshener of your own handy just in case.
by KLINTON PORTER
Yeah mints – and all those other products with sugar and chemicals in em all make bad breath worse. Parsley (and this is true) is the thing that gets rid of bad breath. It’s the chlorophyll in it that does it – with the absence of all those nasty sugars that don’t do it. Google it. I never go out without a bunch. And mext time you see some sticking out of my back pocket on the dance floor, please, help yourself Klinton.
I agree -> non sugar mints are the way to go.
I’d never thought of the lolly drink before- thats not bad. It doesnt ‘reek’ of “your breath stinks” and Is a nice way to flirt, buying them the drink.
There is however one other way to get them to ‘freshen’ up their breath thats both cheeky and sexy… I’ve used this one many times and its worked for me; usually with giggles afterwards;
Take some mints with you, make sure ur breath is fresh… and during the sexy dancing, when you move into the kiss have a small mint (eg- eclipse) ready in your mouth, tongue and exchange…
It works far better than saying “your breath smells, would you like a mint?” – thats a complete turnoff… you can even play around with it… kissing, tonguing (too much detail? sorry) and whatnot like “passing the ball” so to speak.
depending on the guy and the nature of the venue and the flirting- this may or may not be suited.
But its got some laughs for me, and even a boyfriend!
I wouldn’t try to fix the other persons bad breath at all – there could be a far worse reason why the person has bad breath in the first place, like rotting/bleeding teeth/gums, mouth ulcers, throat infections etc – I wouldn’t promote this sort of “dating/sex” issue as something that can be easily fixed.
Using mints for bad breath is a bad idea! The bacteria that cause the bad breath love to feed off the sugar in them.
It’s best to use some sugar-free gum or drops, and drink water to help fight those bad breath bugs.