From ‘Is It Possible?’ To ‘It’s Possible’: Dacien & Shaun’s Emotional Journey To Becoming Dads

There’s a moment during every big, life-altering decision where things stop feeling abstract and suddenly become real. For Dacien and Shaun, that moment happened at a seminar, surrounded by other LGBTQIA+ people quietly asking the same question: is a family actually possible for us?

Back in 2020, the couple attended a Making Rainbow Families seminar hosted by Rainbow Families — and the ‘is it possible?’ began to shift to ‘it IS possible’.

“Before that, we knew we wanted to become parents, but the pathways felt overwhelming and a little uncertain,” they say. “The seminar helped us understand the different options available… and gave us the confidence that building a family through surrogacy was possible.”

That confidence didn’t come from glossy brochures or vague reassurances. It came from people; hearing about real experiences from real rainbow families.

“Seeing their stories made it feel real,” they explained.

From information to action

Armed with that clarity, Dacien and Shaun began mapping out their path — eventually pursuing altruistic surrogacy in Canada, drawn to its well-regulated framework and supported by friends who had already taken that route.

They connected with an IVF clinic experienced in working with international intended parents and matched with a semi-known egg donor. It was complex, emotional, and at times daunting — but it was no longer unknowable.

But then, something unexpected happened. A close friend, who had been living with them, quietly watching their emotional journey, made a life-changing offer.

“One evening she sat us down and said she wanted to help us have our family,” they recall. “We were completely taken by surprise. We cried.”

It was, as they describe it, “one of the most generous and selfless offers we could ever imagine.”

Navigating the hard parts

Working with a specialist lawyer, they navigated NSW’s surrogacy requirements, from formal agreements to counselling sessions designed to prepare everyone involved.

“The counselling process… quickly became much more than a formal step,” they say. “It gave us space to talk through every possible scenario openly and honestly.”

When their surrogate travelled to Canada for the embryo transfer, they made sure she was never alone. Later, she moved in with them during the pregnancy.

“It meant we were there for everything — the injections, the scans, the small everyday milestones,” they say. “It also strengthened our friendship even further.”

Baby Lachlan arrived a little earlier than expected — at 35 weeks and two days — but in that moment, the long road to parenthood snapped into focus.

“There was a moment where everything just slowed down and it hit us that we were finally dads,” they say. “Seeing him for the first time, holding him, and hearing his tiny cries was indescribable. It felt like the world had shifted in the best possible way.”

Community makes it possible

Today, their story doesn’t sit in isolation — it’s part of a much larger, growing community.

Through Rainbow Families events, playgroups and gatherings, they’ve connected with other LGBTQIA+ families, building a network that Lachlan will grow up within.

“Love makes a family in many different ways,” they say.

Marching together in the Sydney Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras parade this year was a full-circle moment — a visible reminder of everything it took to get here.

“It’s about celebrating the community that helped make our journey possible… and showing Lachlan that he comes from a place of pride, love, and belonging.”

Taking the first step with Rainbow Families

For those still at the beginning — the ones sitting in that same space of uncertainty Dacien and Shaun once knew — their message is simple.

“Your journey to parenthood may look different… but it is possible. Surround yourself with good information, supportive communities, and people who have walked the path before you.”

That’s exactly what the Making Rainbow Families seminar is designed to do.

Run by Rainbow Families, the seminar has spent the past decade helping more than 300 LGBTQIA+ families across Australia come to life. It brings together doctors, lawyers, psychologists and intended parents in one space, cutting through what can feel like an overwhelming maze of information.

“We streamline all the information and provide only what people need to get started — without overwhelming them,” Rainbow Families Executive Officer Ashley Scott said .

The next seminar takes place on May 23, from 10am to 4pm, at Level 3/321 Kent Street, Sydney, with both in-person and online options available.

For Dacien, Shaun and Lachlan, it was the first real step toward everything that came after. For the next wave of intended LGBTQIA+ parents, it might just be the moment things start to feel possible too.