Last weekend, US first lady Laura Bush displayed her comedic flair, or at least her ability to remember lines, at a White House Correspondents’ Association dinner.
Surprising everyone, she interrupted Dubya’s speech to the gathered journos and fading stars and launched into a stand-up routine, poking fun at her hubby’s intelligence.
Explaining why they were destined to be together, Mrs Bush cracked, I was the librarian who spent 12 hours a day in the library and yet somehow I met George.
Given she normally does little more than beam and wave, Laura’s been widely congratulated for stealing the show with her scripted jibes.
By referring to herself as a desperate housewife, she also showed her manicured finger was on the pulse of popular culture.
It made me dizzy with possibility for our own first lady, Janette Howard, who has heretofore displayed all the personality of a toll collector.
Just like Laura, Janette has no shortage of material to work with. At the risk of repulsing the nation, she could start with a cheeky reference to the intimate details of their marriage.
People think John doesn’t know how to say -˜sorry’. Believe me, I hear that word every night in bed. I call it his black-armband approach to marital relations.
Or perhaps she could refer to hubby’s lack of interest in the arts.
My John’s never been too interested in the theatre. He thought The Lion King was about his track record of non-core promises.
Janette could always riff on Johnny’s famous embrace of all matters sporting. Every morning when John leaves the house in that Wallabies tracksuit, I feel like yelling out, -˜You forgot the oranges!’
Can’t you hear the merry chuckling? Howard would undoubtedly be heh-heh-hehing at this humanising touch.
Of course, Janette being a painfully blank slate, she’d benefit from displaying the human touch herself, a little pop-cultural savvy.
How about Kath & Kim? I never did like Canberra, it’s like Fountain Gate without the mall. I feel much more effluent here in Kirribilli.
If all else fails, I think their children should provide us with a Bush twins-style drug scandal. Frankly anything would help.