There are still many teenagers in rural areas and youths attached to strict religious environments struggling with this question. This article is written for them.

We all know what coming out was like for us. Teenagers beware as research shows that gay teens are more likely to attempt suicide than straight teenagers. And that is a terrible waste and causes great pain to family and friends forever.

Always talk to someone if having any thoughts about suicide. Things will change for the better.

There is nothing wrong in being gay. Finding you are gay is the same as finding out you are straight. It is nothing to be ashamed of and if people do have problems with you being gay, it is more about their ignorance of human sexuality.

Your sexuality is pretty well determined by the age of eight or nine. No one knows if it just happens before you were born or if there have been influences after your birth.

So if you think you are gay, don’t feel bad about yourself, okay! It’s just who you are. One in 10 of the human population is gay. That’s a lot of us.

If you’re wondering if you are gay, here are some of the signals:

You may be gay if you’re attracted predominantly (sexually and/or romantically) to the same sex. You are possibly gay if you typically fantasise concerning the same sex as you masturbate, and it’s been going on for a long time, and you do not or will not fantasise concerning the opposite sex.

Having sexual intercourse of some kind with the opposite or same sex just one or two times does not make you straight or gay. Experimentation is not bad.

It’s usual for teens to experiment with sexual intercourse. What will matter is how you feel about whom you are attracted to in the long term.

Coming Out

A few gay partners who are already out might pressure you — wait until you’re actually ready.

Begin with friends before your family. Your real friends will like your honesty and be touched that you wanted to share with them. Those who make fun of you eventually will come around and the ones who do not were never truly your friends to start with.

Permit loved ones an opportunity to absorb this revelation before predicting the worst. If you had a great relationship with your parents before you came out, they’ll potentially accept it.

It may be instant or it may take a bit of time. Be patient.

So there you are. Human sexuality is not just about being straight. You are a product of nature and if you are gay then that is who you are and you should say, “Okay me being gay is who I am and it is perfectly okay to be myself”.

After all who else can you be?

INFO: Gerry North is a gay counsellor and offers special counselling rates for those struggling with sexuality issues. Contact him at or call 0411 368 142 for a strictly confidential chat.

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