It’s like you get to a certain age as a gay man and you start getting called certain things, besides Trashbag, that make you realise you’ve hit that age, that dreaded age where people start calling you things.

Things like Daddy. Did you know the term Daddy originally dates back to the 1600s? It’s what prostitutes used to call their pimps, so there is that. Also, I ain’t no-one’s Daddy because besides not being a pimp, one of my biggest reliefs when realising my innate gayness, besides access to all the woodies, was that I would never have the responsibility of raising another human being, because well, umm I like having nice things! 

I’m kinda selfish that way and those little beggars sound expensive.

So yes, that first time someone addressed me as Daddy, I was a bit taken aback because I was barely 30 and yet, also Beary which might have explained it but still, ew no! It has just never hit my ear right and so another, more appropriate honorific was settled on.

Sir, is another title that gets bandied about once you hit a certain age of gay, much less of a loaded word to be sure and probably more common among particular crowds plus also, way less likely to turn heads when addressed as such, seductively in a crowd.

Sugar Daddy, well let’s face it, you have to have a certain level of financial liquidity available to be able to claim this title so it’s one I’ll never have to worry about personally but it’s a bit of a dubious one isn’t it? Because you’d never really know if your lover was in it for you or the sugar! On the flip side though, that doesn’t matter if you’re the one getting the sugar in which case, speaking as a freelancer in his forties, bring that sugar on! 

Stifler’s mom from American Pie introduced the concept of a MILF into the mainstream consciousness and it wasn’t long until its paternal version hit the zeitgeist – DILF. A compliment obviously, because it hypothesises future erotic encounters of unimaginable lust with a hot passer-by. Usually best left to the imagination, because as anyone who has ever picked up off the apps can tell you, the fantasy is mostly better than what usually ends up knocking on your door – how old was that bloody face pic anyway!?

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