Need somewhere to jingle your bells over the festive break? Melbourne’s got more queer night life options than you could poke a decorative branch at, and the Star Observer has your must-know guide for the top picks of Christmas and New Year.

The Market
You could easily set up shop at The Market from Christmas day well into the New Year and pretty much be entertained by a different event everyday at the old girl. On December 25 DJs Mr Stoj, Kista and Tony Svehla will give the gift of music for Christmas night, whilst Boxing Day will see James Fraser, Carmine Romano and Svehla once again from 10pm-10am.
On the Christmas public holiday, Kista, Peter McNamara and Courtney will close out the three-day partyfest.
New Year’s will see another tri-day treat starting with a NYE party featuring a midnight countdown show with Paris and a 3am show from Todd Patrick along with the swag of hot DJs. New Year’s Day starts from 10pm with James Fraser, Mr Stok and the return of Peter McNamara. Supermarket will be the public holiday Monday event.

The Xchange Hotel is all shiny and new with their exciting renos, so be sure to head over to the staple of Commercial Rd to take a peek at the brand new Boom Boom Room and Pamella’s Palace. It’s open right across the Christmas/New Year’s period.

That supplier of ladies-only night life fair, Shebar, is back for a special NYE edition at the Glasshouse Hotel in Collingwood. Mrs Clause promises to come knocking as the party starts from 9pm. There’ll also be podium dancers, two dancefloors and DJs and live music featuring Phoebe Timmerman. Early arrivers will be treated to a glass of champagne upon entry and free finger food.

The gorgeous and friendly bar staff at DTs will be manning the Richmond fort on Christmas Eve from 4pm-1am and hosting a festive buffet from 7-8.30pm. Christmas day will open for the same hours but with floorshows from 10.30pm. On NYE, doors open once again at 4pm with a $10 hot food buffet from 7-8.30pm and DJ Daz from 9pm – best of all is the lack of cover charge. New Year’s Day will feature floorshows from 10.30pm and happy hour from 8.30-9.30pm.

The Laird
Never a disappointment over the holiday season, The Laird is choc-a-block with events starting with December 24’s Man Friday featuring the Cockpen Christmas Craptacular with host Sparx and special guests. On Christmas day they’ve got the appropriately titled Yule Be Right Mate with tunes by MattDoll and Boxing Day Bears is a great cause to get behind on the 26th with a food and clothing appeal benefitting the ALSO Fabulous Shop and Positive Living Centre.
New Year’s Eve is the perfect time to unwind and Rewind with Nick Shepherd-Spanky’s dance floor classics and rarities from the last three decades. It’s free entry and runs from 9pm-3am.

Club 80
Fancy some company over the holiday week? Club 80 has extended its opening hours just for you. From Boxing Day-December 28 and then NYE and NYD, you’ll find extended hours at the sex-on-premises venue for no extra fee. There’s also their special ‘Unwrapped Party’ on Boxing Day if you fancy an extra present or two.

The Greyhound (GH)
NYE is a great chance to check out Tabitha Turlington & Pussy Willow’s new Friday Night Project with as special New Year’s edition. Special guests include Millie Minogue, Rita La Coque Eater, Caresse, Sue Ridge & Sondra. It’s free entry.

The Peel
If you fancy a twink for Christmas, The Peel is basically your Collingwood Christmas tree. On Christmas Eve, Christmas and Boxing Day, it’s open from 9pm ‘til dawn. There’s a NYE end of year party from 9pm on the 31st and New Year’s Day will see opening hours as usual also.

Heaven’s Door
Get ready to get lei-d at Heaven’s Door on New Year’s Eve with their Blue Hawaii party. Free entry to HD memberrs before midnight, or $10 admission, plus a blue heaven cocktail. Nova China, Sandee Crack and Destiny will perform. Doors open at 9am – until 5am.

Orlando sets up camp at Thousand Pound Bend on NYE for Gay Abandon. The Bend is a generously sized establishment in the heart of Melbourne; there is even talk of a telemovie festival beforehand in the upstairs cinema. Tickets can be purchased for $20 from the venue and all proceeds go to charities like Equal Love.

If you’re feeling like a recovery after NYE, you can always head to Rogue Revolution’s New Year’s Day revellry at Neverland. With headliners The Freemasons, as well as Katherine Ellis, Paul Heron, Wayne G, Phil Hewson and Justin Ryan, it’s a star-studded affair to welcome 2011. Tickets:

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