It’s the stuff sexy daydreams and night-time fantasies are made of; who hasn’t seen a dubiously acted porno with three willing participants getting their freak on? But as anyone who has stumbled through one can attest, it rarely works out like you’ve seen in the movies! 

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At least until you develop that knack for putting together a good room, in which case it becomes easier with practice. Lots of practice, or so one would assume.

Practice Makes Perfect

The very first time you do it, you feel like you’ve hit the jackpot! It’s gonna be so hot! 

And then you’re there in the room and the vibe is weird, you’re with two other single fellas which just makes it harder to tee up the energy because, like, why doesn’t that one look anything like his obviously ancient profile pic and why is that one over there eating the potpourri!?

Or the other commonly fantasised about experience – being the guest star in another couple’s boudoir. It’s a veritable minefield of mistakes to manoeuvre. 

Don’t look at that one too closely, the husband might get jealous. Share out your attention equally, you don’t want to be seen to be playing favourites. 

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No kissing! It’s too personal — though apparently a thorough rimming is like, A-OK!!

Communication Is Key

And if you’re part of a long-term couple that’s inviting a third along for an outing, well buckle up. In fact, you’d best clear your diary for the day after the long-anticipated event, especially the first one because there are going to be some issue-based conversations, Kimmy look at moi, ploise!

But that’s after the first one and if that experience doesn’t scare the happy couple apart, then it gets easier after that and, eventually, you can work towards that place where the communication, energy, breath and connection with a third, just works.

Once you get all the bits and pieces moving in symphonic harmony… then hold on to your hats ladies and gentlemen, you’re in for the ride of your life!

And an interesting piece of trivia, while you’re here – did you know that ménage à trois ISN’T a fancy-sounding French term that translates to the English equivalent of threesome? It’s a common misconception but actually, ménage à trois refers to a specific type of committed relationship, usually between a married couple and a third person, similar in modern parlance to a throuple!

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