Melbourne gay events group denies ageism claims
Image: Photo: Gay Events Melbourne/Facebook.
Gay Events Melbourne, a new singles events company for gays and lesbians in the Victorian capital, has defended itself from accusations of ageism and discrimination after the Star Observer received several complaints about the business.
The group—which was established two months ago to provide relationship and friendship opportunities for same-sex attracted people—is currently promoting several age-exclusive events in the coming weeks, in addition to an all-ages event.
Among them is a gay men’s dinner party with an age stipulation of 25 to 45, a lesbian beer and cider tour of the Yarra Valley for 25 to 49-year-old women, and a gay men’s trivia night with an upper age limit of 39.
Jayson Dixon, a 47-year-old resident of Seddon in Melbourne’s inner west, said he felt discriminated against when posts from the company appeared in his Facebook feed.
“I came out six years ago and the reason I came out so late is a lifetime of homophobia and some very traumatic experiences when I was young,” he told the Star.
“You experience a lot of homophobia when you’re young but after you come out, it feels like you get bullied all over again in the gay community for not being young enough,” he said.
“A small part of me questioned my worth when I saw that I’m already too old for their events.”
Dixon claimed age discrimination was also widespread at gay venues and on dating apps such as Grindr.
“it’s everywhere. I say to my gay brothers: most people live until about 80. If we’re told we only have worth until our thirties or forties, what effect does that have on our wellbeing?”
Another Star Observer reader—42-year-old Cheyne Oliver from Cheltenham in Melbourne’s south-east—said he felt disgust when he read of Gay Events Melbourne’s age restrictions on Facebook.
“Over 50 and you’re not welcome. Some events, even 39-years-old is the cut-off point. They even ask for ID when attending—I’m disgusted,” he said.
“In an age when out LGBTIQ people are struggling with visibility and loneliness, these sort of promoters only reinforce the myths that older people are worthless.
“Even though I guess they aren’t breaking the law, it’s still vile.”
However, the company said their intention had been misunderstood, and that they were trying to do something positive for the community.
“We’ve been running Single Events Melbourne for heterosexual people since 2014,” said the company’s owner, who requested that he be identified in this report by his first name, Tommy.
“The reason we started Gay Events Melbourne is because in the years we’ve been doing Single Events Melbourne, people kept asking again and again if we would consider expanding into LGBT events,” he told the Star.
Tommy said the company’s “heterosexual sister company”, Singles Events Melbourne, had always specified age brackets for their events “and we’ve never had any trouble”.
“The reason we have age cut-offs is so singles can meet people roughly their own age.”
He said age cut-offs weren’t strictly policed and that if people asked to participate in an event for a different age group “we’d consider their request and most likely allow it”.
“We do have some events that cater to all ages,” he added, highlighting their ‘Platinum Gay Wine Tour’ in December, which is open to all ages.
Asked whether the company had applied for an exemption under Victoria’s anti-discrimination laws, he confirmed they had not – but said they were open to it, if required.
Several Melbourne LGBT venues have successfully applied for the right to legally discriminate, to maintain their client base and identity.
These have included Club 80 and The Peel Hotel in Collingwood, The Laird Hotel in Abbotsford and Sircuit Bar in Fitzroy, which have all won the right to legally ban women and/or heterosexuals.
The Star Observer does not suggest that Gay Events Melbourne or Single Events Melbourne have broken any laws.
The Victorian Equal Opportunity and Human Rights Commission has been contacted for comment.
The company owner said Gay Events Melbourne was still “finding its feet and getting a feel for things” and was open to changes and feedback from the community.
“We’re just trying to help people meet that special someone or to make new friends.
“We are not out to hurt anyone, or discriminate against anyone, and we’re trying to do a good thing for the community.”
If this story has raised any issues for you around ageism, discrimination, homophobia or other matters, QLife and Switchboard Victoria—a peer driven support service for LGBTQI+ people—can be contacted on 1800 184 527 or online at qlife.com.au.
This is pure age discrimination and this business should not be supported by LGBTI people. It’s not what I fight for on the streets of Sydney when I has 18. Discrimination against older members of our community is rife and this business’s principles/intentions are stuffed. Don’t support them and hopefully they will close down
Maybe the Trivia (one of the events being publicised) contest being ‘Under 39 Only’ is because they know those little twinks could NEVER beat a bunch of +50 Queens at Trivia!.
Hey all, the guy has had one gay event, just one… It was a beer and cider tour which I attended. Was it perfect? No, but I had a great time and given it was his first, I think he did a pretty good job and will definitely do it again.
On our way back to Melbourne, Tommy asked for our feedback and the age bracket thing came up as did having a wine tour, organising an after-party/something at a venue after etc and I’m glad to see he has taken most of it onboard.
From what I can tell, there’s an upcoming Wine tour + the Beer/Cider tour for all ages and after-party back in Melbourne.
Businesses asking for feedback nowadays is as meaningless as it is banal and at least the guy is making a genuine effort to improve.
Good on you Tommy!
@ Tommy: “An 18-year-old doesn’t necessarily want to find a romantic connection with a 70-year-old.”
While I can sorta/kinda understand, this is still a pretty insulting statement. Who says that 70-year-old is going to be interested in someone that young in the first place? But if that’s your “reasoning”, then let’s bring back Logan’s Run’s Carousel and be done with it. As Nolan pointed out, the grand majority of your events are age-specific, some with a top limit of 39.
For a bleeding trivia night.
Think about that for a moment. I mean, seriously, dude?
The world does not need someone exploiting the stereotype of the slathering, fat old queen scaring the poor defenseless teenager. Perhaps the better strategy here — if you think you can stand advice from someone as decripit as me (After all, at my age, I wouldnt stand a chance of getting in.) would be to have the grand majority of your events all-ages and keep the age-specific ones to the minority? Because, frankly, an age limit for a freaking trivia night sounds more than a bit idiotic.
If I were a enterprising (and indeed a rich queen) I’d open a gay venue catering solely for us old queens.
ID at the door must show 60+..
Daddy hunters and sugar daddies would be excluded.
We want to enjoy and meet the non attitude company of guys OUR own age..
The fun days of Maisies ain’t over yet!!
Bring it on!!
“To meet someone in the same age group?”
I am 75 and my partner is 37. Neither of us is interested romantically in our own age group. Maybe part of the problem is that the company is run by the same people who have a heterosexual dating site. Gay people are more adventurous than heterosexual people generally. Or are the owners of the company enforcing their values on their potential client base?
Tommy – of the 7 events listed on your website, all but 2 exclude anyone over the age of 49 – and it is 45 years for most of them. You might also want to explain why a bloody trivia night needs an age range, and why you think its OK to basically tell anyone over 50 – and yeah I’m 50 – to get lost.
Age discrimination on Grindr?
How VILE that people have autonomy over their own bodies and dare decide whom they wish to be intimate with when seeking a shag on apps dedicated to fucking. Scandalous!
Hello everyone! We run all-ages events coupled with age-specific events. Our mission at Gay Events Melbourne is for people to meet others roughly the same age for both friendship or a romantic connection which is why we have age groups on some events we run. For example, we might have an event for age 25-45 but we’ll also have an event for age 35-55 and also 45-65 etc. These different age groups are designed so that people have a choice to meet someone roughly their own age by attending an age-specific event, or they can meet someone a lot younger or older at our all-ages specific events.
An 18-year-old doesn’t necessarily want to find a romantic connection with a 70-year-old which is why we offer both ‘age-specific’ & ‘all-ages’ events so that YOU can choose what you want to do.
It’s clear to us that some people have seen only 1 event on Facebook but didn’t take the time to visit our website to see the rest of the events we have on offer. It is a little unfair on all parties but still, we remain positive as life is about learning after every interaction.
At the time of this article publication, we’ve only ever had 1 event with Gay Events Melbourne two weeks ago and received invaluable feedback surrounding age groups & event ideas from the men who attended. Their ideas have already been implemented and as a thank you to them, they all received a lifetime discount promotion code for any and all events with us in the future. That’s how much we value feedback!
If you have any questions or concerns, the best people to talk to are us! We can be contacted via our website contact form, Facebook messages, our 1800 851 841 number and our SMS support line with any questions or suggestions (all found on our website http://www.gayevents.melbourne).
Your input, suggestions, and feedback are what shapes the future of Gay Events Melbourne.
Remember, we are human just like you. So talk to us :)
Thank you, everyone, we love you all!
Regards, Tommy
http://www.gayevents.melbourne