I am going to touch on something that I may not have talked about before.

I am talking about the subject of Tranny Trade. Most guys who want to pick up a drag queen don’t identify with being gay. Normally the conversation goes something like this: Oh, um, I’m straight but, fuck, I think you are hot, or I don’t consider you as a bloke. Damn, you have nice tits. (For dirty bits of foam that have seen one too many dance parties, yeah, I guess they are nice tits.)

But believe it or not, every city is swarming with TT and it is just like the beer ad, you can get it any place, any how.
To get into the mind of TT would be just too difficult but I have developed a few small rules that keep all parties involved happy and normally no questions asked.

1. TT is only for sex, nothing else. I was burnt many times, falling in love the first time I met them. Usually they flee straight after they find themselves wearing more glitter and make-up than you.

2. If you are out to pick up, make sure you aren’t with another ugly drag queen. If they are prettier than you, that is fine -“ TT usually prefers the ugly ones. I have no idea why but it just happens.

3. Blonde is always a winner.

4. If you are lucky enough to snag the interest of one, make sure that he doesn’t have a girlfriend who is at the bar. I have seen too many scrag fights involving showgirls and girls: Get away from me boyfriend, ya dog! Usually the girl goes home in a huff and, well, the rest is history.

5. Now, if you want to take him home, make sure you adhere to all the safe dating practices. Tell someone where you are going and who with. If you go home, make sure you let him know you have a flatmate and must be quiet, even if you don’t. Oh, and always catch a taxi -“ it’s just so much safer. TT usually likes to leave first so make him grab a taxi and wait for you. I also like to pay for the cab myself, just so money changes hands, especially if it’s only $5.

6. Okay, here is where the art comes into it. Usually, after a very intense pashing session in the taxi, make a run upstairs. Make sure he knows how to get out of your house. It is best for the magic to take place in a dim or dark room. Everyone looks so pretty in the dark. Make sure you take your lashes off and put them in a safe place. One thing I do like to do, if he is very vocal about having a girlfriend, is to leave him a little hickey for his troubles. That will fix his little red wagon!

Safety is the key though. Look after yourself and everyone has fun. Good luck!

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