Most of us have been there before – you pick up a guy from one of those adult websites or gay chat apps, he promises something that is way above the average inch measurement, and you get there, and… Disappointment, he lied! I call this, ladies and gentlemen (more so the gentlemen on this one), #inchgate.
Now let me get a few things out there – yes I am single, yes I occasionally frequent these sites and apps (when the urge comes on strong) and yes I do well with the gentlemen.
But what I don’t do well with is lies. Why must you lie guys? It’s not like you’re not going to be caught out! I know how big an inch is! I know how big nine inches is and I definitely know when you’ve only got 6.
As I said earlier, I call this Inchgate. Where a full blown (pun intended) investigation needs to take place. Personally I think this needs to start at the manufacturing plants of the world’s rulers, because someone is clearly getting it wrong for the majority of the population to have a misconception of their actual size.
Now if that fails and Inchgate findings show that the rulers are all to the correct sizing, I think that the medical industry needs to step up to the plate by doing the measuring for the gentlemen of society. And with their professional measurement of length and girth, they will supply the gentleman with a printed document stating the correct facts, which they can produce before they produce.
A simple yet effective solution to the problem that is now dubbed #inchgate – no longer shall we stand for shortcomings, no longer will we stand being lied to and no longer will we be sold short at the check out! When you buy a twelve inch at subway you expect one, because that is the advertised size.
Gentlemen, we expect the same codes of conduct, the same business ethic when it comes to the meat end of doing business. So stand with me, ladies and gentlemen – #inchgate is an issue in our society, and we demand that the lies on size stop here and now or forever be known as an #inchgate offender.