Almost famous — my mug seems to be flashing every time I turn the television on.
The official title I have given myself for the recent appearances on Underbelly: The Golden Mile is “Non-speaking, Featured, Up the back, Pop up when least expected, Extra”.
I fell into the role, though at first I was a little disappointed with the whole Underbelly. I had heard that showgirls had been auditioning for the role of ‘tranny hooker’, where they were looking for an ’80s-style, junkie tranny hooker.
I sat by the phone, waiting for days for my call but nothing. I could be a hooker, and a damn fine hooker, if I say so myself. But nothing … so I let it drift out of my mind.
A little while after that, I was checking my messages on Facebook. At the top was a message flashing, “Maxi, contact immediately”. Ooh, how exciting, I thought.
It was from the guy casting the new Underbelly series. He had heard about me from my pole-dancing girls who were in the series, and was asking if I would be interested in doing something.
I jumped at the chance. I was told it would be a nightclub scene and asked if I knew two others to be involved. Straightaway I was on the blower to Penny Tration and Tora Hymen. With just days to prepare, we started to collect outfits as ’80s as possible, and Penny started practising her ’80s-style cheeks.
Then the day came. Tora and I arrived first, faces full of makeup and drag bags overflowing with outfits. We sat in the middle of the cast, who were trying to read scripts and have lunch, patiently awaiting the arrival of Miss Penny Tration.
Hooting, she arrived dripping in costumes, and a set of the deepest purple, straight-across blushed cheeks I have ever seen. “Maxine, I’m a character actress”, she told me. “These are the cheeks the girls would have had.”
Tora and I were already in our outfits. Instead of opening up her bag so the costume director could choose, Penny decided to do a fashion parade, sashaying through the lunch area, displaying each look. By the third, I was met with, “You’re an arsehole Maxine, why didn’t you tell me she could look in the bag?”.
Within minutes we were in a van and heading to a club. The whole thing took about 15 minutes to film. We were then thrown in another van and back to transform into fellas again.
All of us feature in the promos and the first six minutes of the episode. I suggest you keep your eyes out, as there are a couple of other showgirls who will also pop up.

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