It Gets Better anniversary marked by tragedy
Online anti-bullying campaign It Gets Better celebrates its first anniversary this month.
The viral campaign was the brainchild of US columnist Dan Savage and his partner Terry Miller.
It was aimed at reassuring children and teenagers who identify as LGBTI that, after high school, things do get better.
Sadly, only days after the anniversary, 14-year-old Buffalo, New York student Jamey Rodemeyer, a participant in the campaign, took his own life. Rodemeyer was an avid blogger and spoke openly about his torment at the hands of bullies from his school. He was relentlessly hounded online by bullies who would post “Jamey is Stupid, Gay, Fat and Ugly. He must DIE”.
It’s understood Rodemeyer was seeking help from social workers and friends, and seemed determined to remain brave in the face of the abuse.
It was this bravery that led Rodemeyer to post his It Gets Better video on YouTube in May. In the video, he recounted his experience with bullies after he identified himself as bisexual in December 2011. He encouraged others in similar situations, expressing the strength he received from online supporters and his idol Lady Gaga.
“All you have to do is love yourself, and you’re set,” he said.
“I wouldn’t care if you died. No one would. So just do it :) It would make everyone WAY more happier,” one bully posted.
“I always say how bullied I am, but no one listens. What do I have to do so people will listen to me?” Rodemeyer wrote on his Tumblr profile in his final days.
One of his final messages was a tribute to Gaga, along with the lyric “Don’t forget me when I come crying to Heaven’s door.”
Responding to Rodemeyer’s death, Lady Gaga tweeted, “I am meeting with our President. I will not stop fighting. This must end. Our generation had the power to end it #MakeALawForJamey.”
New York police have opened a criminal investigation into Rodemeyer’s death, however, no bullying laws exist in New York state. Police will have to determine whether aggravated harassment charges can be laid against the bullies.
Savage has spoken online about his sadness at Rodemeyer’s death and the teen’s involvement in the It Gets Better project.
Savage said he feels that for some, “hope isn’t enough. Sometimes the damage done by hate and haters is simply too great”.
He said those responsible for bullying Rodemeyer should be held accountable but “not prosecuted or persecuted”.
News of Rodemeyer’s loss has been felt worldwide. His parents Tracey and Tim Rodemeyer will bury their son in a T-shirt that reads “Born this way” to symbolise acceptance and defiance of bullying.
CNN’s Anderson Cooper speaks with Rodemeyer’s family here:
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Undoubtedly sad and hope he rests in peace.
As a fellow teacher I do have to say that it’s difficult when staff school culture doesn’t support anti-homophobia. Addressing bullying is so much easier when the head teacher, principal, or fellow colleague wholeheartedly agrees against such bullying (as they would against sexism and racism), but there is in part a culture of resistance when policies seem to promote the rights of the bully than the one being bullied. (It’s extremely difficult to expel a student just for bullying no matter the extent unless a weapon was involved and, thus, I do agree better systems in schools need to be put in place). Students are also quite adept in hiding bullying from teachers when we don’t have access to their facebook, sms, or blog conversations as we simply can’t on ethical grounds.
I do believe that there’s a minority of teachers that turn a blind eye and it’s very easy to blame the teaching profession as a whole. But where are the parents in this situation that are turning the blind eye that their child is bullying another? What are the parents doing to educate their children that their child’s ignorant beliefs are wrong? No child should ever have to “just deal with” bullying. This issue goes deeper and wider than what any school can achieve and really has to involve parent intervention.
It’s an incredibly sad story, and although things for Jamey did not get better, I surely hope his story and his video will affect many others to stay strong and courageous.
This is such a sad story. I have tears rolling down my face as I watch his ‘It gets better’ video. I wish I, we, could’ve been able to stop the outcome which came to be. It enrages me to no end. The education system needs to wake up and take responsibility for the abuse that is permitted in the yard, in the classroom, in social environments. Jayme may still be with us if he was surrounded by sensitive and astute adults that looked out for him. Teachers know what’s going on, it’s their choice to turn a blind eye to the harassment. That needs to stop and stop now before another young person hits their level of coping and ends their own suffering. Jayme I am sorry I didn’t know you and that we couldn’t help you. But I do say we, as their are many thousands of people that, unlike the guardians that surrounded you and allowed such abuse to be hurled your way, that we would’ve stepped in, we would have helped you, we would have offered you strength to stand up against that abuse, given you support in knowing that you are loved by your family, that you would’ve been loved by us. Jayme we will fight for equality, for social acceptance, and for a more nurturing, supportive, understanding and safer schools environments. Be yourself now, there is no more hurtful words for you to hear only the happy sounds of those that love you and, well, possibly your idol Gaga as well. Keep smiling mate, I hope one day I get the chance to smile back at you.
In your name, Anthony Wallace xox
you’re in a place where no one can hurt you or bully you again mate, rest in peace
so sad