A Masterclass: Woman Convinces Troll Sending Unsolicited Dickpics That He’s Dying

If you’ve ever wondered how to get rid of someone sending you incessant unsolicited dick pics – this is the absolute masterclass.

Writer Becky Holmes has topped the list of ‘women who 110% get shit done’, after she managed to convince a random sex pest who kept sending her unsolicited photos of his (shocker: underwhelming) penis that he was dying.

On TWO seperate occasions, nonetheless. 

Holmes went viral on X (formerly Twitter) and even got a segment by Channel 4 in the UK dedicated to her extremely impressive trolling efforts. Becky is known on social media for her expert troll-destroying, regularly responding to scammers and dickpic-senders with trolling that is so intricate and detailed, that in my personal opinion, she deserves some kind of medal. 

The sex pest, known only as Greg, first sent Becky a truly horrendous dickpic that included a scribbled message of ‘Happy Birthday’ on a piece of paper, which he then cut three holes in to look like two eyes and a nose (the latter, of course, being the hole he stuck his penis through). 

Becky’s initial response was to thank him for the effort, but she included a warning about the red mark on his stomach. 

She then ramped the warnings up:

“Greg I have a degree in dermatology. I’ve seen these before in that position and it is often a sign of something more serious,” she said. 

“It doesn’t itch?? Oh shit. Ok, stay calm for now! No itching is a sign of something healing – when a spot in that position doesn’t itch it means it’s likely to be spreading poison, what we call ‘silently’.”

“Greg, you’re really worrying me here. The fact that you haven’t noticed being bitten or scratched is even more concerning. This could well mean it’s coming from further within your body,” she continued. 

Greg eventually began to freak out, continuing to send Becky photos of the so-called “poisonous spot” and saying he’d shaved his torso and had showed it to his cousins for their opinion.

Becky replied to this by saying: “Shit. It’s not a good thing. I’m so sorry… it’s going to be a really difficult few months for you… that’s the nature of the condition. You won’t know until too late.”

For those of you asking about when I got long-term sex pest Greg to shave his stomach and see a doctor, here is where it all started…

Channel 4 also covered it in a 5 minute doc if you want to see that too 😊

Stranger Sent D**k Pics So I Convinced Him He Was Dying |… pic.twitter.com/lDN5g6k7in

— Becky Holmes hates spinach (@deathtospinach) April 24, 2024

The detail? The acting chops? The drama?!  Honestly, she deserves eternal free drinks and a key to the city.

Becky later confirmed to Channel 4 that Greg did actually visit a doctor, convinced that he was dying. 

You’d think that after this harrowing ordeal, Greg would his dick in his pants and out of Becky’s DMs – but apparently not. Greg came back for a second helping of trolling by Dermatologist Extraordinaire Becky. 

She shared another set of screenshots from her inbox, this time beginning with the ‘long-term sex pest Greg’ sending her another dick pic with a sock covering his penis and a caption of ‘Wake up Becky! It’s Cock O’Clock!’. [EDITOR NOTE: Dear LORD – do these men have no shame? Jfc.]

This time, she diagnosed Greg with the bubonic plague, telling him he was clearly covered in ‘buboes’. 

And despite him telling her she was ‘wrong last time’, she still managed to make Greg worry – again. 

Twitter friends, please join me in prayer for long-term sex pest Greg, who I have just diagnosed with bubonic plague

🙏 pic.twitter.com/wml6a0z3oo

— Becky Holmes hates spinach (@deathtospinach) April 22, 2024

Honestly, a work of art. If you are copping unsolicited dickpics that you want gone, this is truly, madly, deeply the best possible way to deal with it. 

You can follow Becky here: twitter.com/deathtospinach