An unrealised tension within was released recently upon Grindr’s announcement that they were adding a brand new position description to their options of selectable descriptors. 

It was a paradigm-shifting moment because, until that point, the available options had been almost binary, in that you were either a top or a bottom (or versatile), with little room for discussion in between.

But even had there been discussion to be had, few would have been able to put into words what, or how to describe their rarely articulated truth – they didn’t necessarily like or understand the obsession over putting things into that most intimate of places and for a variety of reasons too – it’s not just about an aversion to a possible code brown!

Enter Dr Joe Kort, who coined the phrase back in 2013 to fill that gap, so to speak. After making the suggestion to Grindr, he was thrilled to report to the world in May 2022 that the groundbreaking dating app had taken his suggestion on board. Dr Kort had given a huge percentage of Grindr users the most amazing gift – to articulate their preference at the beginning of the interaction because it’s right there on the profile, rather than when it’s too late to avoid an awkward conversion after the fun and games had started. 

Dr Kort describes the Side position thusly, “Sides prefer to kiss, hug and engage in oral sex, rimming, mutual masturbation and rubbing up and down on each other, to name just a few of the sexual activities they enjoy.”

All of the fun stuff with none of the anxiety! None of the anxiety of worrying about what MIGHT happen if someone got a little carried away and tries to put something where it wasn’t wanted, because the app facilitated that conversation early. 

“These men enjoy practically every sexual practice aside from anal penetration of any kind. They may have tried it, and even performed it for some time, before they became aware that for them, it was simply not erotic and wasn’t getting any more so. Some may even enjoy receiving or giving anal stimulation with a finger, but nothing beyond that.”

Of course, if you’re not even on Grindr, none of this means anything to you because the other apps have been sluggish to jump on board but fingers crossed Scruff and the others, are not far behind!

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