Inspiration can come from the most unlikely places. A Facebook update recently reminded me that the here and now is a gift — that’s why it’s called the present. Perhaps the most satisfying way to live is to be fully present, to live moment by moment wherever possible.
Think about how much time you spend fixated on past events, or thinking about the future. It’s this constant striving for something always just out of reach that means we miss out on what’s happening around us.
It’s part of the human condition to often feel like we’re missing something — like there’s an emptiness inside that needs to be filled one way or another. For some, that emptiness is temporarily covered up by a little retail therapy. Or maybe it’s sex, or any other of the million-and-one ways we try and distract ourselves from those feelings of ‘lack’.
For us guys in particular, when we feel a lack of something, we often identify it as a sexual lack… and that can lead to a preoccupation with sex, compulsive masturbation or sex addiction.
Often these extreme behaviours are covering up an underlying issue, whether it’s feelings of loneliness or isolation, a need to just be touched and cared for, or an underlying dissatisfaction with some other aspect of one’s life.
Touch can trigger deep emotional responses. As a masseur, I’ve witnessed how touch can be a powerful force, awakening emotions that are often held tightly inside.
In our touch-phobic Western culture, we’ve sexualised touch to the point where it often feels inappropriate, especially with people we don’t know. That means we often miss out on the healing potential of this basic human need. Try this simple exercise with a partner to experience just how powerful physical contact can be.
Essentially, you’ll each take turns to give and receive a hug. Stand facing each other with knees unlocked and breathe deeply into your bellies, bringing your awareness to your pelvic floors. Imagine your legs are big, strong tree roots reaching down into the earth, anchoring you to the spot.
Embrace your partner, with one hand on their lower back and the other a little higher on the mid/upper back. Breathe your belly into theirs and imagine that you’re grounding them into the earth.
As the partner being hugged, allow yourself to be embraced and supported. You may find your body letting go and relaxing, you may sigh, you may feel emotions coming up from inside. Pay attention to the effects on your body.
Swap places and hug your partner with the same intentions and consciousness.
Life is often a battle between logical mind and emotional body. But when we connect with our bodies and our emotions, we stay more rooted in the moment, and can experience the gifts of joy and meaning that make life worth living.
info: Experience tantric massage with Between The Sheets columnist Tantraguy. Visit www.gaydar.com.au/…..tantraguy for more info.