All at sea

Any holiday that celebrates the giving and receiving of chocolate is my type of holiday. The phrase as happy as a pig in shit never runs truer than over the Easter break.

Though the point was made very clear -“ No eggs! -“ the chocolate ran very freely, let me tell you.

It’s the traditions I love. Being from a huge family, it was the traditions that we all lived for -“ oh, and playing in the mud after a storm (country kids!)

One tradition that I am happy to be a part of is the Midnight Shift Christmas Cruise (held on Good Friday).

In previous years I haven’t had much luck on this cruise. I spent the majority of one cruise hanging over the edge throwing up for three hours.

But I was determined to (a) not spew, and (b) have a good time.

Penny Tration and I were approached to do the welcome show and after many minutes of discussion we came up with a few options.

Option 1: both dressed as Moses, surrounded by animals singing He’s Got The Whole World In His Hand. Rejected.

Option 2: me as Michael Jackson with baby and Penny as a judge, both singing Guilty In The First Degree. Rejected.

At the end of my tether, I blurted out, How about we do Dancing Queen in feather headdresses? Bingo.

Now, if anyone has seen Penny and me, you would know that we are really not Kylie Minogue-style, headdress-wearing showgirls, unless there is an edge. This is where my pole dancing/stripper training kicked in.

After many phone calls, even more vodka courages (or was it the 10 sea sickness tablets I had taken?) and metres of double-sided tape, we were ready to turn Circular Quay on its ear.

To say it was a little windy would be an understatement, with both headdresses almost having us airborne.

Draped in fur we headed the boat in to the Quay and were met with the cheer of the crowd.

But it wasn’t until we dropped the furs did we really hear the cheering.

Wearing nothing but G-strings and tassel pasties, we both soon had Circular Quay hooting with delight, and street performers in an uproar.

We were later told by one of them that we had made a mockery of street theatre.

As you can tell, the cruise was a huge success and I must admit that I did hear, It was the best arrival show ever, being bandied around the boat.

I hope everyone had a great Easter and always remember, chocolate is your friend.

EYESPY Happy birthday, old girl. Celebrating her 11-teenth birthday was Mitzi McIntosh last Sunday at the Alexandria RSL.

I am not sure if Trudi, Wyness and Cleo did actually keep the whole function totally a secret from her, but I did hear she was suitably surprised.