Looking at many of the showgirls around town and how much effort they put into how they look when on stage or just out and about got me wondering if they all put as much time into how they look as boys. I know personally that drag outfits can take hours, days or even weeks to create the final product. Do they really give a rat’s arse what they look like when not on show?

It has come up quite a lot recently with my shedding of the extra pounds. I used to be one of those guys who, if it was clean or didn’t smell, then it was perfectly okay to get around the city in it. Hey, after making sure you look 100 percent or the whole hundred bucks at work, who has the time to design what they look like as a boy?

Everyone has run down to the shops in their PJs when they run out of milk, I am sure. I remember one Saturday morning many years ago when I was living on Oxford Street I found I had no milk so off I ran. I came across Vanity Faire who also lived very close to Oxford Street and to say both of us looked like we had just gotten up would have been an understatement. Hair not brushed, thongs and ugg boots scuffing across the ground, we looked a mess. People said, You two look a fright.

Surely nobody cares what you look like if you are running down to the shops to buy milk, do they? By night we were beautiful ladies (well, sort of), but by day does it really matter?

Well, I have a declaration to make: since I have spent so long at the bloody gym I will start taking time to make myself look half-decent as a boy. None of this leaving the house in PJs again. It’s going to be stud muffin all the way. Using a quote that I have heard from many other showgirls (who will remain nameless), he said I am a hot woman but an even sexier boy.

EYESPY Happy birthday to Arq for last Sunday night. I heard the night was fabulous with it ending well and truly Monday morning. Every time I hear about another club getting older, I think, Jesus, I went to the opening. How old does that make me?

Is it true or is it a nasty rumour that someone is spreading to excite all the single showgirls? I am talking about the new showgirl night planned for Headquarters where all the showgirls are welcome to the sex-on-premises venue. Dates have not been confirmed yet, but as soon as they are I will let you all know.

Remember DIVA voting is on this Saturday at the Oxford Hotel. Come and vote for your favourite showgirl and show. You must remember to write the correct name of the show for it to be valid.

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