I sometimes get a little personal in my article each week. I just think if you can’t laugh at yourself then who can you laugh at? I recently read through a couple of my articles about previous adventures. God dammit, I have done some stupid things, and I feel sort of happy that I am able to share them with you because I am a sharing caring type of person.

I do think this one will take the cake -“ that’s if I ate cake any more. Not may people know I suffer from a terrible disorder called Never Nude. It’s not that I can’t be nude in front of anyone, I just prefer not to be. All those boys who parade around the change room at the gym naked are great to look at, but if I had to do it I would be sick to the stomach. Maybe it’s a body image thing, maybe it’s growing up in the country in a big family. Who knows?

Last weekend I was relaxing on the lounge collecting my thoughts when I got a phone call from a sexy boy I have been fancying for some time: Let’s go to the beach, I’m out the front, hurry, you have to come now. Because he is sooo cute, I heard something like this: Beach, come now, so grabbing my man bag I bound out of the house.

Now I will just call him S so he can remain a little bit anonymous. He knew about my Never Nude disorder but decided to take me to the nude beach. It’s okay, we will go around to the rocks so no one can see us. With stars in my eyes I followed like a lovesick puppy, not realising I had brought no towel at all -“ just my swimmers and sunscreen, that was it. And to my utter dismay, S had not brought a towel either. What were we going to sit on?

Anyway, after what seemed like forever mountain-goating around the rocks, he told me we had found a position and to get my gear off. It took me a while but once I was in my birthday suit I was fine. Some would say I took to being nude in the great outdoors like a duck to water, dancing and frolicking near the rock edge for hours.

I wasn’t so fine when I dropped all my clothes over the edge into the water whilst being stupid. I wasn’t fine when all I had to get back to the car was S’s shirt to wrap around me. I wasn’t fine having to walk through groups of families, spending a nice weekend on the beach.

Needless to say my nude adventures have been put on the back burner just for a little while until I can get my confidence up once again.

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