Out foxed

What a week! Two celebrity comings out -“ Anthony Callea is gay and Ian Thorpe is straight. Who knew?

Seriously though, the Anthony Callea admission is only surprising in that I didn’t think it would come from him. I thought the celebrity mags would just keep getting more and more suggestive until they just screamed Anthony’s GAY on their covers. Remember that NW pic last year of Anthony and his friend sharing a bowl of ice cream? It doesn’t get any gayer than that.

Poor Anthony. It was getting pretty scary there for him, what with the whole being outed on radio thing. And when people started sending journalists random Gaydar profiles and claiming they belonged to him, he probably realised it was time to make a definite statement one way or the other.

Gotta admit, Ian Thorpe’s coming out as not-gay-actually in the Good Weekend is also not that much of a surprise. I’ve been saying for a while that I didn’t think he was a homo -“ for at least as long as he’s been saying it himself. I mean, if he really were gay and trying to keep it quiet, he would hardly have done so much rampantly gay-acting stuff. No closet case is going to bring out a line of pearl necklaces and fancy men’s undies. And who would seriously get themselves a beard called Beard? Amanda Beard sounds like a gay Simpsons character’s pretend girlfriend.

And then there’s all of that dodgy fashion stuff. That masquerade party where he wore the fish-net mask. And by the time he was photographed wearing that leather coat and leather pants, my Gaydar just switched itself off. Coloured leather? Mesh masks? Sorry, Ian, even the worst European gays aren’t as tragic as that.

Anyway, I’m waiting to see who’s next. A sportsman? A pollie? One of our national heroes? Anything’s possible. After all, everyone’s got an online profile these days.