Trans ‘ignored’ on gay house-finding site
A 36 year-old transsexual woman has accused flatmate finder website Gay Share of ignoring the trans community after she was unable to indicate her trans identity when looking for accommodation.
Melbourne-based restaurant manager Raphael Thomson said she believes it is unfair of the site to exclude trans people in the online profile filled out by users, while other users are able indicate they are gay, lesbian or straight.
Thomson said when she contacted Gay Share she was told to register as a straight woman and then include the fact that she was transsexual in separate introductory notes.
“I am proud of who I am and I don’t see why I should have to misrepresent myself,” Thomson told the Star Observer.
“I’m one voice but I wonder how many other girls out there feel unwelcome and won’t use the site, knowing they have to cheat themselves and have this whole pretence in order to be heard.
“I chose the Gay Share website because I felt it would give me the easiest and most comfortable way to find somewhere to live in an environment of like-minded people.”
Gay Share spokesman Guy Mitchell said in the past the site did allow trans users the option to identify they were trans. However, this option was removed in 2009 because it proved unsuccessful.
“Because of the volume of our service, to help people narrow down the 4000 listings on our website to a manageable amount, they can go through [and] tick the box for what they’re looking for,” Mitchell told the Star Observer.
“Unfortunately for [trans people], because we used to have the tick the box if you want transgender, no one ticked it and what this meant was transgenders never got any matches.
“In fact, having the classification for transgender allowed everybody else to marginalise them, so we don’t ask questions that would allow too many people to exclude you.”
Mitchell said the reason Gay Share instructed Thomson to indicate she was a straight female was to help her find a place to live.
“It’s really a problem with society, we don’t create the rules,” Mitchell said.
“We have to deal with the harsh reality of practicality, our ideas of what we’d like the world to be are completely irrelevant, because we have to deal with what happens out there in the big wide world and matching people.”
TransGender Victoria spokesperson Sally Goldner said it was disappointing the site did not cater as well for trans people as it did for gay and lesbian users.
“You’d hope in 2012 that there were better relations between gay, lesbian and trans people, but you’d also hope Gay Share approached this more positively,” Goldner said.
“If trans people are receiving lesser treatment, there’s no reason for Gay Share to capitulate this point of view. I think Gay Share needs to look carefully at what their policy is.”
Goldner said trans people often face discrimination when trying to find housing.
“It’s a huge issue,” she said.
You May Also Like
Ultimately who you’re going to get as a flatmate will depend on their capacity to pay. Most transsexuals, straights and gays can’t afford South Yarra or Rose Bay for instance. Economic class will trump gender and sexuality every time rendering this whole debate redundant. And similar to Sally Goldner’s point, I’d rather a straight male flatmate who is a reliable tenant than a politically correct but irresponsible GLBTQI.
Really so much of what gayshare has said is clap trap. A transgender client deserves the same support from a community business as anyone else. It’s not as gaysahre says – the market makes the rules. No it doesnt make the rules about the gayshare system. Thats rubbish. Many technical solutions exist to catter for protect peoples indaviduality. In fact gayshare used to provide feedback about which criteria was limmiting matches. They took it out. Bizzare as that may seem. Even if they dont match on it, they can tag the trangender fact, they ere willing to tell me a match likes playing video games, but they cant have a transgender field. So its all lies and deception Im afraid based on the commercial business objectives. The end result is poor service. And I would expect nothing less from the one size fits all not gay but queer melbourne good for nothings! Can sydney ever escape their tenticals?
I’m going to play devil’s advocate to the gist of some of the above comments above re “wouldn’t share with a transsexual”, “nothing in common”
Would you rather a share a house with:
a) a gay male who kicks holes in the walls, never contributes to the household chores and does a runner owing rent and bills; or
b) a trans* person who pays the rent on time, has a a good sense of humour and does their share of the dishes?
Mark, go tell that to the brain scans http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn14146-gay-brains-structured-like-those-of-the-opposite-sex.html
Oh and don’t forget to tell the bashers http://www.abc.net.au/news/2010-06-04/majority-of-harassed-gays-suffer-in-silence/854028
I know it’s gonna be tough to cope with facing that sex and gender never really were 100% seperate things but connected and complex things. I know the internalised homo/trans-phobia of the whole ‘straight-acting’ thing is gonna hurt to overcome. I know the whole community is still in deep denial of how much gender diversity there is amongst gays and lesbians even though it can be seen right there in the brain scans.
But you’re gonna have to toughen up and face the facts. There is not just a connection but a deep one.
Gayshare reasonably points out this option was available until 2009, but was unused.
Maybe in 2012 put it back and see what happens now. Can’t hurt.
I am a TRANS, FEMALE, LESBIAN. It is possiable to be all of these things and more. All these facts are very important when seeking a safe place to live.
I need to know if the person i might share a house with is a hateful transphobe who feels that dispite my being out as a member of the queer communitity for 22 years, having been an activist fighting for GLBTI rights. I might be viewed as not having any rigth to be here.
We trans and genderqueer members of our communitity must have the right to be given access to the resources needed to meet basic ,needs, housing is one of the most important.
Put in a box for us to tick. If we trans people are discriminated against because of the box, dont take away the box, fight to take away the discrimination.
@Mark Whether you like it or not, the majority of people in this world are straight and born into their ‘correct’ gender. Anyone who falls outside that description comes under sociocultral labels such as gay, lesbian, trans and intersexed. We’re all under the ‘queer umbrella’ together.
I think the issue at the heart of this story is labels; the labels we give ourselves, the labels we give others and the labels we try to accommodate and define on the inhuman internet. Ones personal identity cannot be adequately summarised in a tick box or selected from a drop down menu. But it seems in today’s fast paced, efficiency obsessed and part virtual world; we don’t seem to ‘find the time’ to appreciate each others uniqueness and similarity.
I’m a gay man and I’m sick to death of being grouped with the “I’s” and the “T’s” in this “GLBTIQ Community”.
What makes me a gay man is that I am same-sex attracted. As are Lesbians. As are Bisexuals.
I have NOTHING in common with transexuals. NOTHING WHATSOEVER.
I do not like being put in the same demographic group as them.
It irritates the shit out of me that transexuals and intersex people think they belong in the same grouping as me. They don’t.
Before criticizing me for this statement, re-read it. This is not a criticism or a judgement of transexuals or intersex people. It is just a statement that they are not the same as me and I am not the same as them.
Their place in my “demographic label” is about as logical as chucking in “Short” and “Chinese” and “left handed”.
This is a difficult issue because it’s a clash between what’s right and what’s practical. It’s right for Raphael to describe herself as transgender and match with households that have included trans people in their criteria, but that’s not reality. We know this because we’ve done that in the past and households didn’t include trans people in their criteria. The reason for this is that the majority of people want to live with people who are similar to themselves. When you live with someone who is similar in age, gender, sexuality, culture and even religion, there’s an intrinsic understanding about a range of issues that makes settling in and sharing a home easier. It’s not discrimination if christians only want to live with christians, or lesbians only want to live with lesbians; similarity gives many people a sense of security and that’s important when sharing a home. If there were enough trans people in the share accommodation market for them to connect with each other it wouldn’t matter if straight, gay and lesbian people didn’t include them in their criteria, but that’s not the case. Gay Share is a business and it’s counter productive for us to organise our service in a way that allows anyone to be marginalised. We welcome trans people and we’ve adopted an approach to helping them that gets results.
It really depends on whether trans people in general or just her want to be classed as ‘trans’ above other labels like ‘male’ or ‘female’, ‘straight’, ‘gay’ etc. Women who might just want to get on with being a woman, regardless of being born biologically male, may not want to be classed as ‘trans’, IMO, a neither here nor there gender label. If someone actually felt that way about themselves then maybe ‘genderqueer’ might be more appropriate? I don’t really see the big deal over labels anyway though. Craig J’s right, they do overcomplicate things sometimes. But if people really feel the need to say they’re trans to avoid issues with housemates (which is sad) then keep the box to tick…
However, it would be nice if people from a minority group would find it within themselves to be open to other minority groups. Saying you would not be comfortable living with a trans person is like a straight person saying they wouldn’t be comfortable living with a gay person. I don’t see the big deal really. People are people. Straight people get hit on by other straight people they aren’t keen on. That’s awkward, just like being hit on by a person of a different orientation or same original gender as you is, if you’re not attracted in return.
….Craig J continuing the transphobia with his great use of language “them” “him/her”
This kind of reinforces the issue.
I agree with Mr. Mitchell. I am a gay male and I would not want to live with a transexual. I guess if we had more to do with them, this may or may not be the case. His philosophy of matching him/her with as many people as possible by saying that she is a straight female (which I guess is what she technically is now) was her best option as it exposed her to alot more homes than if she stated she was a transexual. I guess his job is to find her a home and he did his best to do that regardless of the overly complex classifications and ‘moral’ imperatives that we lug around with us like an overweight suitcase. I reckon she should get over herself.