Gay Men Discuss Their ‘Sexy’ Turn Offs

What “sexy” behaviours destroy the mood for you? 

Maybe the other person makes over-the-top, obviously fake sex noises. Maybe you open up Grindr, and instead of “hello”, it’s BAM! dick pic. Maybe they talk dirty, but it’s really just cringy. Maybe they are a really bad kisser. Maybe they are a little too keen and clingy. 

Recently, a conversation started on the AskGayMen thread on Reddit about this very topic.

‘Sexy’ And They Know It?

The question was, “What do other gays do, that they think is sexy, that just isn’t?”

One Redditor said, Start getting really sexually explicit minutes into your first conversation.

“Sending zoomed-in hole pics way too soon,” added another. 

Making ‘Sexy’ Assumptions

One user shared, “Assuming you’re a top/bottom based off of your behavior. Some guys think they’re so suave for thinking you’re a bottom just because you aren’t some alpha chad masc bloke. If you’re trying to get with me, just ask me what I’m into instead of playing some weird guessing game.”

Another chimed in, “This!!! I know I give off “bottom energy”, but I’m verse and tend to prefer topping these days. But so many guys can’t fathom being topped by a somewhat effeminate, shorter guy. 

Staying on the theme of assuming whether a person is a top, bottom, or side, a Redditor wrote, “Assuming whether I’m a top or bottom purely based off the fact I’m trans and the constant dick spam I want to get to know you a little first calm down ffs.”

Toilets and Boundaries

“Masc 4 Masc guys acting like it’s a badge of honor. There’s a point where it stops being a preference and starts being loud insecurity,” one person said. 

Another Redditor talked about when the other person doesn’t respect your boundaries and asks, “you to do something you specifically say you do not like doing. Maybe they think somehow it will be magically different and enjoyable with them lol.”

“Toilet dick pics,” a user wrote.  “Or if there’s a toilet open in the background,” added another.